Skilled carpenter needed. Bring Your Own Beer.

I'm worried about the one they call Stew... the fella who likes to stick his nose in front of my face and say "give Papa a kiss." Does he have any clue that his breath smells worse than the neighbor dog's butt? Trust me... I would know. So, anyway, I found Stew curled up on the cement floor of the basement the other day. He was gently rocking back-and-forth while clutching what appeared to be a throw pillow from the couch. He kept muttering "why didn't I hire a professional... I'll never finish this room." I assume he was referring to the basement bedroom that's still several 12-packs away from completion -- the equivalent of a couple weekends in Stew Standard Time (SST). I remember hearing Linda "suggest" to Stew (many times) that they hire a carpenter to finish the bedroom so that they could focus on the nursery and other things around the house that need attention before the baby arrives, but Stew would always respond in typical Stew fashion: by turning beet red and mumbling nonsensical statements about how silly it is to spend money to hire someone to do something he (Stew) is perfectly capable of doing hisself. (Laughing) Boy, was he wrong! He would have been better off building himself a doghouse because he's going to need one if he doesn't finish that guest bedroom.