November 08, 2006

Electile dysfunction strikes again...

Dear Grandmas:
I know you come to this blog with the hopes of finding new, cute pictures of little Claire. So, allow me to apologize in advance for today's blog entry. I promise to resume posting pictures of Claire on this blog and at the My Pictures link. But, I need to get a few things off my furry chest with the following rant. I hope you understand.

Why is it that you humans continue to put up with an electoral system that forces you to choose between Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber? You should take a lesson from us dogs. Whosever butt stinks the least becomes leader of the pack. Then again, from what I've seen, no such candidate is willing to run for public office in your world. Instead, as was the case in this year's Minnesota gubernatorial race (and the 2004 Presidential election), you are resigned to vote for the lesser of two evils. What's worse is when a viable 3rd party candidate is the best choice, everyone's afraid to vote for him (or her) because "he can't win" or "voting for him will take votes away from Tweedle Dumb, thereby putting Tweedle Dumber into office..." The sad truth is that we all lose in the end. Remember Ross Perot? That little martian is looking pretty good right now, huh? I might be biased because I'm a survivor of the "you're doin' a helluva job, Brownie" project, just one of the many failures of the most inept - and corrupt - administrations in the history of the United States. This blog was never intended to be political because, quite frankly, I'm admittedly not informed enough to speak intelligently about politics. But, I'm just an angry mutt who has had enough. Now, the Democrats are the new majority. Yippie... forgive me if I'm not dancing in the streets. This is the party whose former leader used a White House intern as a human humidor* and lied about it repeatedly under oath... although, I must admit the Dems currently look much better than the meth-smoking-gay-bashing-underage-boy-chasing-hypocritical-religious zealots of the GOP side of the aisle. Since when was it the responsibility of congress to set the moral compass of the nation? I really don't think I need these lying, thieving, adultering, bigoted, homophobic "leaders" telling me what's right and what's wrong. Isn't that what People magazine is for? No, wait... People is for what's hot and what's not. Anyway, don't the conservatives in congress know that homophobia is gay? Speaking of gay, have you heard about the flock of "male-oriented" sheep at Oregon State University?
Scientists have found evidence linking sexual orientation to genes and hormones found in the brain before birth. Then again, can we really trust scientific evidence? The researchers are working under a $2.8M grant from the National Institutes of Health in hopes of developing a test which can determine the likelihood of a ram being female-oriented before it is sold as a stud. Luckily for Stew, no such human test exists, and Linda was forced to take him at his word when he assured her that he was, in fact, a stud. But the technology can't be far off. And just think of the utopian conservative society that could be created with the technology: turning gay sheep straight, making black sheep white, changing their wool into nice conservative blue suits (or even dark gray... but not too close to black). Again, I don't purport to be a political pundit, but I can't be the only dog on the block that's fed up with the process... I can hardly wait to see what gems the parties dig up for the 2008 election.
* an anology I heard somewhere... can't claim it as my own, though I wish I could


Remmy 6:13 PM  

You go Bogeyman! I'd back you for "least smelly butt" pack leader any day!

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About This Blog

Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

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