Got milk?

Since Claire recently graduated from smaller 5oz milk bottles to the 8oz ones, Stew decided that he should do his part to help Linda maintain a healthy "natural" milk supply. As stated in a previous blog entry, Stew's brain has turned to mush ever since the arrival of Claire. So, naturally, I found Stew in Claire's nursery Saturday night where he was hooked up to Linda's breast pump thingamagig. I'm not sure if he was in pain or simply working very hard to produce milk when I shot this photo, but the strained look on his face implied the former. After a good 30 minutes of this nonsense, Stew finally gave up. Since he's lost his mind, I thought I could get away with a ridiculous suggestion. So, I proposed that he first shave his chest - and his pale, fat belly while he's at it - to prevent hairs from clogging the tubes OR entering the milk supply. Plus, he could likely get a better suction with a "tight" fit around the nipple. Unfortunately, he didn't buy into this theory or else I'd have some additional distrurbing photos to show you. Speaking of disturbing photos, can you tell that Stew's trying to suck in his gut on the first photo? Doing so produced some sort of weird 6-pack... except four beer cans of the 6-pack are missing leaving two grotesque mounds of flesh protruding from his abdomen. Stew also made me promise to crop the photos just above his belly button so as not to show his latest Buddha. Linda and I are fairly certain that if Stew doesn't change his eating habits (and start exercising), then Richard Simmons is going to show up at our house with a fleet of firemen and a large crane to lift Stew from the house via a hole in the roof. We just hope Richard brings one of his new steamers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SCJLlSf21Y). Anyway, Claire's waiting to be fed, and I've got morning feeding duties... gotta run. Happy Monday to you and yours.