May 29, 2007

NAFTA sucks

In light of the recent crow attacks in my backyard, I decided to Google "how to kill a crow." I was pleasantly surprised to find the following entry at the very top of the search results page:

Crow Busters - Why Hunt Crows
Except for the handful of recipes for preparing crow, why in this day of rampant animal rights fanaticism should we continue to hunt and kill an animal that has no real monetary value?

The reason is that the crow has and continues to exhibit behavior that ranges from simply annoying to highly destructive. In agricultural areas, be it the pecan plantations of the south or the cornfields of the midwest, crows continue to account for extensive crop damage, including the nasty habit of pulling up sprouting grain in the spring... not to mention continuously pooping on vehicles parked in our driveway, directly below the huge Silver Maple tree in our front yard.

Furthermore, I've learned crows are a rogue element that I once believed to be allies of the evil squirrels that lurk in our backyard. However, I've recently discovered the crow to be a different form of backyard insurgent. While crows and squirrels both view my presence in the backyard as an immoral occupation of "their land", the two varmints are bitter enemies. As you can see in the attached photo, nobody is immune to the kamikaze attacks of the crow. So, now I'm perplexed. Do I fight the squirrels or do I start attacking crows? Both seem to hate my freedom, yet they also appear to hate each other. I think you'll agree that this presents quite a conundrum. I'm thinking a "Dog Park Saturday" is in order, where I invite all of my doggy buddies over to frolic in the backyard. For some reason, a high influx in canine presence makes both the squirrels and crows even more angry, but somebody needs to keep the order... and I'm the decider and decide it will be me and my puppy pals.

While once purely a country bird, crows have only recently moved into urban areas. The reason is NAFTA (North American Free Trade Agreement), which took effect January 1, 1994. I submit that NAFTA and its promise of laxed restrictions on continental migration drove the integration of crows into urban areas. Doing so has caused irrevocable harm to many, but mainly to the American Robin (Turdus migratorius).

A migratory bird of the thrush family, the American Robin has long been a staple of backyard suburbia. Their beautiful caroling can be heard throughout the day, and American Robins are often among the last songbirds singing as the evening sets in (listen to their song here: But ever since NAFTA, crows have taken jobs away from the American Robin to a dangerous level where I rarely even see or hear a robin in our backyard anymore. All I typically hear are annoying crow screams. So, I'm calling for a repeal of NAFTA!

In the meantime, Claire wants to play, so it's time for her to chew on her book. I don't want to put words in her mouth (pun intended), but we're hoping Claire eventually wants to read the book. Now, here are some random clips from this past weekend...

This sounds like Stew, but he was nowhere near Milwaukee this weekend:

Ironic quotes of the day

"(The President's) record has been to promise cooperation while finding new ways to subvert and obstruct... efforts to bring peace."
- President Bush speaking about Sudanese President Omar Hassan al-Bashir (referring to the civil war in Darfur)

Senator Kit Bond of Missouri, referring to newly declassified documents (part of a Senate Intelligence Committee investigation released Friday) that make clear the Bush administration was warned about the very challenges it now faces as it tries to stabilize Iraq. Senator Bond says the Senate Intelligence Committee "has become too embroiled in politics and partisanship to produce an accurate and meaningful report."
In case you missed it, the irony is that the report is both accurate AND meaningful (but was ignored).


Anonymous 4:01 PM  

I believe that Claire is the reason for the crows. We were sitting on the back steps last week. She was talking away and the crow started to answer her. I am not sure what they spoke about, but it may be a plot to terrorize Bogart in the back yard.

Aunt Karen

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Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

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