October 13, 2007

The consultants

A couple weeks ago, Momma had to take some consultants out to dinner. One evening, she came home from work and announced to Stew "I won't be home tomorrow night until around 9:00 o'clock... there are some sons-of-bitches visiting our company, and I have to take the bastards out to dinner." Then she giggled like a little schoolgirl. I didn't understand why she was being so crass until later, when Stew showed me the following clip from a Seinfeld episode where George Costanza had to take some consultants out to dinner:

Those sons-of-bitches Momma was working with are from the South (the Carolinas to be precise). After one of them saw a picture of yours truly (that'd be me) sitting on Momma's desk, he inquired as to my breed. Momma explained that I originated in New Orleans and that recent DNA test results proved inconclusive. To which one of the bastards replied, "I'll bet he's got some English Shepherd in him... it's a very prevalent breed in the South, especially in rural areas and on dairy farms."

With Stewart being a Scots-Irish name and all, I'd hate to think I could possibly be part Limey (a racial slur referring to the British), but I Googled "English Shepherd" and discovered that those sons-of-bitches are probably right. The photo above is an English Shepherd, and you can see more pictures at www.nesr.info/index.htm.

In the meantime, here's my understanding of how the world of consulting works. You might have to click on the photos in order to read the text... then again, sometimes clicking on photos on this blog does nothing. But, the I.T. consultants at Blogger.com refuse to answer any of my emails... those sons-of-bitches!
Or, here's another good explanation:

2 comments:

Anonymous 11:13 AM  

Apparently your little squirrel baby wasn't cute enough, better pick a cuter squirrel next time. Maybe a rabbit they're softer. Too bad people are such sore losers, those are the ones that just shouldn't enter these contests. Did you really need a contest to tell you your baby is cute? Shame on you for being a sore loser.

Bogart 9:58 AM  

Real nice, Anonymous (and real brave of you to sign you comment, by the way). You shame ME after you first insult our baby. And you call me a "sore loser" because you are too dense to comprehend the use of humor in my postings (albeit weak humor perhaps). And while you're message is blatantly ignorant, the spirit of it wasn't completely lost. I've removed the link to the picture of the winning baby picture in case other douchebags visit the site and can't understand the use of humor here. To be clear, the contest was merely blog fodder, and I applaud the winning photo. And based on all the Finalist photos, I like her chances as the bar is not real high. Oops, I did it again. Now go away and spread your holier-than-thou attitude elsewhere.

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Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

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