January 22, 2008

Got Dignity?

Has anyone seen Stew's dignity? It's around here somewhere, but we haven't seen it in a few days. The last time it made an appearance was last Friday evening when Stew was beaming with pride for having swept and scrubbed the floor behind the refrigerator earlier that afternoon. Apparently there was some sort of gremlin living back there, and Momma was so proud of Stew for having taken the initiative to move the fridge. She was excited to learn the appliance actually has wheels that allow you to move it out from under and beside the cupboards. Who knew?

Then on Saturday, things took a turn for the worse. Do you remember the guest bedroom Stew's been remodeling for the past two, three, four, or is it five years? Well, he's now been hanging drywall in a walk-in closet. Once the closet is finished, Stew will be able to move on to tackling a slew of much smaller projects. He still plans on painting some walls, installing window and door trim, putting a lock on the bathroom door, and - anticipating he'll eventually be moving into the guest bedroom - fitting the room with a flat screen TV that drops down out of the ceiling when you press a button (the button next to the Momma-brings-Stew-a-sandwich button). The photo at left is what Stew and Momma envision the closet will look like upon completion. Stew and Claire head to Home Depot everyday looking for the blonde chick, but he has yet to figure out which aisle she's sold in... and, of course, he can't ask any Home Depot employees for assistance. Doing so would be a sign of weakness.

Anyway, since Stew's SUV isn't large enough to carry a standard 4' x 8' sheet of drywall, he had to rent a truck from Home Depot to haul drywall and lumber to the house when he was in full swing of the project. However, now that he's toward the end of the major construction phase of the work, he's been using smaller leftover drywall scraps to piece together the walls and ceiling of the closet. So, needless to say, there are A LOT of seams to be covered in the closet, and Stew is not happy about this. He's been begging Momma for permission to cover the drywall with vintage posters from the 1970's and 80's. But, it appears she really has her heart set on a painted ceiling and walls, so Stew will have to mud and tape the drywall seams. He is not excited about this as he fears it will look like crap, and he's probably right. Oh well.

So, after he hung his final piece of drywall, Stew stepped back to admire his work while, at the same time, dreading the mudding and taping work ahead of him. Then, to his horror, he realized something that would drain him of all self pride and respect. On one side of the closet is a cutout and junction box for some track lighting. The ceiling is too low for a light, plus there are furnace ducts running above the ceiling, so track lighting was the only solution. Stew did the electrical work himself, so it remains to be seen if it will actually work. We think it will, but that's not the issue. The issue is that Stew somehow forgot to install a light switch for the lighting, and the closet is going to need lighting. Darkness attracts evil spirits and beings (see photo at right). So, Stew will have to remove several of the small, leftover pieces of drywall in order to run wiring and install a light switch. Luckily, he figured this out before actually mudding, taping, sanding and painting the wall. Regardless, chalk this up to yet another home improvement project gone astray.

Tomorrow, I'll tell you all about Momma's work's Christmas party that was held this past weekend. But first, I'll give you a three word teaser: "open", "bar" and "Stew". 'Nuff said.


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About This Blog

Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

OUR FAMILY - Provides a brief bio on each family member.

THE SAHD CLUB - A rip-off of the letter written by the kids from the 1980's blockbuster hit, The Breakfast Club.

THE DOG DISH - Here you'll find the occasional rant or story written from a dog's point of view.

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