Blue, you're my boy!

Happy New Year... again! Since my handlers headed out-of-town unexpectedly shortly after New Year's Day, I spent a few days with my Aunt Dee (Rosemount) and her black lab, Remmy. Remmy, you're my boy! (for you fans of the movie Old School). Rumor has it that I was a good dog during my stay in Rosemount, but that's just how I roll. Anyway, now that I'm back home and have access to a computer, I need to update y'all on our New Year's weekend at the Ten Mile Lake Resort... where men wear sarongs and women wear looks of disgust (because they just don't understand the feeling of liberation that comes with wearing a "man dress"). I warn you this posting is fairly long and not my best work 'cause my new favorite TV show, Paranormal State, comes on in 45 minutes, so I don't have time to edit. Sorry.

The crazy folk Momma and Stew hang out with over New Year's (not to mention numerous other times thoughout the year) refer to themselves as NARMY - an acronym for Not A Role Model...Yet. The group formed in pre-Claire and pre-puppy times, thus the clever name. The photo shown is the NARMY group sans Uncle Russell, who made other plans this year... so the humanoids had to settle for store-bought Irish Cream instead of devouring Russerio's homemade elixir. Anyway, look at the picture and see if you can guess who did NOT shower prior to the photo shoot. Here's a hint: I'm looking right at him in the photo... and he is NOT the one holding his wiener (dog).

In addition to going shower-free for several days, group members occupied their time by participating in numerous mini-tournaments (complete with prizes no less). Okay. Okay. I have to come clean. Most everybody showered daily. Most everybody. I'm not saying who didn't because they know who they are... and so did the rest of us. Peeew! Anyway, there was a Bingo tournament (see the photo of Momma with her number markers organized by color and lined up in perfect little columns positioned just above her playing card... who does that?). There was also a Texas hold 'em tournament (won by Peter Karl... who, it is my belief, was channeling Chris "Jesus" Ferguson, a World Champion poker player pictured at left). Both are gentleman gamblers who happen to look eerily alike... in a good way? There was also a Hearts tournament, which was won by a giggly Uncle Kermit. We know he wasn't smoking any "fun stuff", yet he had a permanent smile plastered on his face throughout the game. And despite Aunt Veronica and Stew forming a secret coalition dedicated to destroying him, Uncle Kermit proved unbeatable (with a score of "0" no less, which is an incredibly unlikely score for a drunk guy to attain). Unfortunately, due to a lack of time, there was no Mini-shuffleboard Tournament. Uncle Peter is the reigning champion, so he brought the Mini-Shuffleboard traveling trophy (as is required by NARMY bylaws). Alas, Stew will have to wait another six to 12 months to win the title... and the trophy. A trophy he's had his sights set on ever since designing the damn thing several years ago. There's also a Skittles traveling trophy, but Aunt Veronica "forgot" to bring it so no Skittles Tournament was held this year either. As retribution for not bringing her traveling trophy - as required by NARMY bylaws - Aunt Veronica is officially on notice.

Speaking of Aunt Veronica, here she is holding a little wiener named "Tucker"... two individuals with LOTS of spunk!

In addition to the Bingo and card tournaments, there was snow shoeing, ice fishing, Backgammon, Chess and puzzling. That's right, puzzling - the act of putting together a puzzle. You see, two of the NARMY-ites formed their own mini-group and call themselves "The Puzzlers", but everyone else simply refers to Momma and Uncle Pete as "The Nerds". Each New Year's weekend, they put together a 1,000 piece puzzle while the "cool kids" party and raise all sorts of hell (translation: lie around on the couches and recliners while watching DVD's and nursing their beers or hot chocolates). And when all the crazy puzzling is done, it's nap time. Apparently, puzzling really takes a lot out of a person. I wouldn't know because I'm part of the "cool kids" crowd and was outside hunting squirrel and rabbit during the puzzling shenanigans. But I never miss a chance to be part of a photo with Momma and Claire. You can view ALL the pictures from our New Year's weekend by going here. There are lots of cute pictures of Claire and Naiya (Karl), not to mention scary ones of Uncles Matt and Peter... and there's even a picture of something called a Clitorisaurus Rex!

Last but not least, I need to tell you about the food and drink. Everyone is assigned two meals, and Stew likes at least one of his meals to have a theme. For example, two years ago his New Year's Eve dinner theme was Mardi Gras (in honor of my having been born in New Orleans). He cooked some Emeril Lagasse Cajun dishes and served Hurricanes (really strong rum drinks), and he passed out before midnight. This year, Stew and Momma's dinner theme was A Taste of Vermont to showcase their trip to Vermont last October, so everything they served was drenched in maple syrup. Seriously. Everything. Baby back ribs, sweet potatoes, you name it... and most everyone seemed to like the food. Especially Uncle Kermit. We found him wandering around the kitchen at 2AM each morning in a maple-covered-ribs-munchy-trance. He'd poke his head in the fridge a few times before finally asking Stew, "where'd you hide that syrup meat?" Maybe he WAS smoking something and just didn't share. Who knows? Additionally, Momma and Stew brought some South Dakota wine they got from Momma's Aunt Lois last year. The 2006 Valient grapes were grown on Momma's Uncle Chuck's vineyard in Utica, SD (the valient is a hearty grape ideal for SD temperatures... or so I'm told). Then, Aunt Lois and cousin Jenny (from Sioux Falls) helped harvest the grapes and bring 'em back to Sioux Falls where Aunt Lois or Uncle Gaylen (I'm not sure who) transformed the grapes into wine in their winery (winery = garage or basement or kitchen or... bathtub?). The end result was fabulous, and everyone raved about it... then the raves turned into anger when everyone discovered we only had one bottle to share. Stew was banished from the cabin in subzero temperatures and was only allowed back inside after vowing to bring a whole lot more of the wine for next year's event.