December 25, 2008

A few of my favorite things

Okay, so Stew freaked out on me yesterday because he found out our annual The Stewart Family Barker Christmas newsletter actually made it to some Minneapolis area households BEFORE Christmas. This is an odd thing, because we're normally a couple days behind schedule with our Christmas mailings. Anyway, since we promote this blog in the newsletter, Stew's concerned that the first thing new visitors to the blog will see is a Gary Busey cartoon strip that you can barely read (and comprised of actual Gary Busey quotes). I absolutely admit to an unhealthy Gary Busey obsession, and I concur with Stew. Folks are probably coming here to see pictures of Claire looking cute. So, please allow me to use this posting to write about some of my favorite things from 2008 - and I can guarantee you several pictures of Claire (and probably at least one more Busey photo).

Look. I'm no Oprah, and I don't claim to be some sort of trendsetter or trendspotter. Heck, my only claim has ever been that I'm irresistibly adorable. A claim, I'd point out, that has never been called into dispute. Anyway... 'tis the season to share with you some of my favorite things. So it's safe to assume you won't be hearing about Sarah Palin or seeing any pictures of soft, fluffy squirrels. No, today is not the day to express my disgust for rodentia (Alaskan or otherwise). Instead, allow me to spread some holiday cheer all over you. You'll love it. It's my favorite kind of cheer - it's liver flavored!

First off, you might recall I've shared some of my favorite things with you in the past. For example, I attempted to sell you some of Grandma Helen's Heartland hand-crafted rugs (she and friend, Darlene, make them by hand on looms). At last count, I believe my little blog posting is responsible for zero sales and a total of $0 sales revenue to Heartland Hand-crafted Rugs, Inc.

And then there's my little t-shirt boutique where you can purchase an admittedly slightly overpriced Stay-At-Home-Dog Blog t-shirt. Hey, it's a free shop I opened online, and I really can't control the prices nor can I offer more than one t-shirt design at a time (if I want to create more shirts, then I'll have to fork over a monthly fee). Anyway, my sales have been a little down this year in that I've sold zero shirts for a total of $0 sales revenue to TwoDogs Productions, Inc. (my production company).

So, I've come to the realization that you people are a bunch of tight-asses. And by "you people", of course I'm talking to the four faithful readers of my blog (who probably already own several Heartland Hand-crafted rugs, and at least one of my t-shirts). I'm not sure anyone else is even out there reading my rants. But one day, Stew - a former award-winning colporteur of high quality furniture offered at a modest price - said to me, "Bogart, you're not going to sell anything to anyone if you don't give the people what they want... unless, of course, you're the furniture sales division of Minnesota Correctional Industries. Then you can do whatever you want because the State of Minnesota is mandated by law to buy all its furniture from you, regardless of how shitty your products or services are." So, it's now occurred to me there's the possibility there could actually be people out there who don't desire a hand-crafted rug for every room of their house (like we have) or a Stay-At-Home Dog Blog t-shirt for every day of the week (like Stew has).

Therefore, today I present you with a brilliant item everyone most certainly will want. You NEED this product (and some of you are getting one as a stocking stuffer from Stew & Momma... as soon as they mail the item to you). So, what the heck is this item? It's the creation of our realtor extraordinaire, Jennifer. Not only is she a fabulous real estate agent (and those who read my summer postings know I don't toss compliments to realtors very often), but she's also a creative genius. She invented the VALET - the Original Greeting Card Holder! Here's a picture taken last October of the valet in action holding all Claire and Momma's birthday cards on our fireplace mantel. Take note how none of the cards are falling to the floor or tipping over. Learn more about the VALET at www.wingnutideas.com, where you can also buy your own package of card VALETS.
So, if you people don't want a rug or a t-shirt, then at least go buy a package of card valets and "Park your card!"

Finally, here's a small sampling of some of my other favorite things about 2008. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good day...

A Christmas Story, the timeless classic movie that TBS is running on a continuous loop this year (Channel 7 locally):
"Real" hockey moms... from "real America" (such as, Chaska). For example, this is one of our new neighbors.
And what's Christmas without some Gary Busey? And if you like to ride on "snow machines", please wear a helmet.
Summer sausage that Momma "accidentally" drops on the kitchen floor (sorry about making your eyes look crazy, Momma... the anti-red eye editing thingamagig didn't work very well):
A peanut butter-flavored doggie biscuit snowman from Aunt Dee (Florida):
Watching Claire open gifts while I dine on filet mignon-flavored Milkbones:

Momma and Claire playing Christmas music on Momma's new piano:
"Vintage" Christmas. Here's Claire wearing Cousin Jane's Kung Fu pajamas from the LATE 1960's standing next to her new vintage kitchen set (while wearing not-so-vintage slippers from her Papa Stew):
Claire and her string of pearls and new hand-crafted wood box from Auntie Karen (great for hiding Christmas cookies inside):
Claire playing with her new bucket of Clipos from her cousin Bridget. I especially like it when Claire decides to dump the bucket of Clipos on my head. Good times... good times...
And Claire at bath time will always be one of my favorite things. I mean, just look at this little girl! She's awesome!
And, finally, Claire all bundled up ready to go play with me outside in the snow:

1 comments:

Anonymous 5:12 PM  

Claire will make a great underwater hockey player someday. :)
Aunt Karen

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About This Blog

Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

OUR FAMILY - Provides a brief bio on each family member.

THE SAHD CLUB - A rip-off of the letter written by the kids from the 1980's blockbuster hit, The Breakfast Club.

THE DOG DISH - Here you'll find the occasional rant or story written from a dog's point of view.

COMEDY - Here you'll find stuff I think is funny, typically video clips, cartoons or jokes.

LINKS - Just what the name implies.

PAW-LITICS - More rants, typically directed at despicable politicians with whom I disagree.

VIDEO VAULT - Home videos of Claire set to some of our favorite songs.

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