April 01, 2009

A Catastrophic Health-related Event

Did anyone catch Tuesday night's episode of FRONTLINE: "Sick Around America"? It's on that far left liberal network called PBS. So, I'm not even sure they get this channel in so-called Red States where by law you are only allowed to watch Fox News, The 700 Club, and the Trinity Broadcast Network (TBN founders pictured here... admit it, we've all stopped channel surfing long enough to watch this big-haired crazy lady wearing her bedazzled cross jacket and diamond jewelry while advancing the cause of charity... her own, that is). Anyway, this particular FRONTLINE episode investigated the stories of Americans whose lives have become a quest to find and keep health insurance. Momma, who we consider a health care expert around here, says almost every family is "one catastrophic health-related event away from financial ruin." What I love most about Momma is her rosy outlook on the future. But after watching this FRONTLINE episode, I'm convinced she is 100% correct. So the next time you're talking with a Right Winger and the discussion turns from NASCAR to health care policy, they will immediately begin parroting the Right Wing rant of "it's socialism" when you bring up the need for a new system that covers everyone. When that happens, thump them on the head and ask one simple question, "What's your solution?" This will almost certainly shut them up because tax cuts for the richest one percent of Americans ain't gonna lower health care costs for the rest of us. [side note: No offense to my friends who I consider to be somewhat "normal" even though you also enjoy NASCAR... but let's face it, NASCAR is pretty much a rednecky "sport", but I still love ya!]

Speaking of catastrophic health-related events... remember how I told you Stew's been running on the treadmill via his Two Days On - 10 Days Off Program? W
ell, today was Day #2, so he climbed aboard this afternoon after feeding Claire lunch. You'd think our biggest fear would be Stew collapsing from a heart attack, stroke or some sort of aneurysm. While these events are all still likely to occur, it seems there's something we overlooked that should forever prohibit Stew from running on the treadmill without adult supervision. First, I have to go back about four years to when Momma bought Stew and herself a health club membership in an attempt to get Stew to drop a few pounds. One day Stew was at the club running on the treadmill. They have little TV's everywhere so you can watch a show and read what they are saying as words scroll across the bottom of the screen. On this particular day, there was apparently a riveting episode of ESPN's Sportscenter. Stew was squinting to read the words because his eye glass prescription is about 10 years old (plus he never wears his glasses). That's when one of his feet missed the actual moving track of the treadmill and, instead, stepped partially on the immobile frame of the machine before slipping back onto the moving track. It's difficult to describe, but basically Stew nearly fell on his face. Luckily, he caught himself and immediately jumped off the machine and started acting like he was stretching out his legs (as if he meant to nearly crush his face on the treadmill track). That was the last day he ever went to the club... so much for the annual membership Momma had bought. So, fast-forward to yesterday. And instead of watching words scroll across the bottom of a TV screen, Stew was watching Claire shoot her hoops while trying to show her the proper technique for shooting a basketball (which apparently is to put on a wool stocking cap, form a "U" with your shooting arm, resting the ball on your fingertips before extending your arm upward and outward toward the basket, snapping your wrist just as your arm becomes fully extended). It was precisely at the point where Stew was flicking his wrist when his left foot slipped off the moving track... and his head came crashing down on the front handlebar of the treadmill. It was not a pleasant experience, unless of course you enjoy the sight of blood gushing out of a head wound (you know who you are... and please stay away from me). So after finding a towel to wrap around his head, Stew gathered up Claire and headed to the clinic. Five stitches and about two and a half hours later, they returned just in time to start dinner.

Under Stew's workout program, he has 10 days off the treadmill coming up. I suspect he'll stick to the plan, but you never know...

And by the way, in case you didn't already figure it out - April Fool's Day! Since it's hard to fool y'all three years in a row, I'm not holding my dog breath that I fooled anyone this year. If I did, then you should be ashamed of yourself (unless you happen to be a new reader who missed out on my pranks the last couple years). Stew is just fine but still hasn't lost any weight.

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About This Blog

Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

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