Where in the World is Bogart?

Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated, as have the ridiculous theories as to my whereabouts the past couple weeks. First off, let me be clear. I did not disappear to hike the Appalachian Trail on Naked Hiking Day (or any other day for that matter). Besides, whenever I want to go hiking while naked, I simply walk down the block and jump on the Bavaria Hills Bike Path. The only accessory I ever wear is a harness that only sometimes has the leash attached... and possibly Claire's sunglasses should she decide I need some protection from the bright sunlight. Moving on...

Nor did I disappear to South America to spend four days "breaking up" with my Argentinian mistress. On the contrary, I have never been farther south than my hometown of New Orleans. Although I'll admit I've had my eye on Skye, the Dogo Argentino (Argentinian Mastiff) who lives down the block, ever since she first attracted my attention with a bark that has a flavor quite unlike any other bark I've known. With a rhythm all its own, it's a bark of connection, depth, passion and sensuality that simultaneously slows my breathing while quickening the pace of my heartbeat. It's ironically both showy, yet very intimate, and it's my hope Skye and I will soon be entwined in our own version of the Argentine Tango in due time. But this is a family blog, so I won't elaborate... although I'm not above posting pictures, so stay tuned!

The truth is we've been very busy around here. First off, I again sold my soul in order to earn some kibble. Some might recall a while back that I told you I will, from time to time, blog about some nonsensical things for the sole purpose of earning a few bucks. Case in point, the anti-shedding website (Dinovite), which was supposed to have earned me $15. However, had I read the fine print of my blogger contract, I would have noticed that I will not be paid if there are more than five days between my blog postings. So, since I tend to go days or weeks between postings, I screwed myself out of the $15 windfall that was going to buy me several boxes of Milkbones. But I won't let that stop me, and you will likely soon find more postings on here that make no sense at all. Hey, a dog's gotta eat (especially one who has an owner who tends to forget to feed me)!

Additionally, Stew survived his 41st birthday this past week and celebrated by single-handedly providing his own version of an economic stimulus package to Century Wine & Spirits in Chanhassen while preparing for his annual birthday festivus (and he still managed to run out of beer the night of the party... which tells you a little something about the people we hang out with). Stew also recently landed a part-time job as (what he likes to call) an Internet Consultant to Google. The truth is he is no consultant, nor does he work directly for Google, and it's not nearly as cool a job as it might sound. Basically, the job involves helping improve search engine optimization (SEO for you geek-types). For example, if you type the query "douchebag" into Google, the result is a list of 1.67 million web pages. Stew's job is to ensure THIS site ranks higher than, say, THIS ONE or THIS ONE. Go ahead and click the links... I dare ya!

Finally, I told you a while ago that I was sequestered to our mudroom while Claire and Stew spent a couple days going on picnics and visiting area parks and lakes so a painting crew could paint the main level of our house without the disturbance of an inquisitive toddler and an anxious dog. Following are some pictures from their time on the town for your viewing pleasure.

Day 1: Claire with her new golf clubs that Momma brought back from Fargo...

Due to rainy weather, Stew and Claire dine on hamburgers in the parking lot of a local golf course in between driving around all day...
Day 2: Claire at some park in Minneapolis that Stew stumbled upon while trying to find Lake Harriet.

Finally, after having to make a phone call to Momma, Stew locates Lake Harriet... where he and Claire take a stroller ride around the lake. Luckily, Stew managed to make it all the way around the lake without suffering a (major) stroke. Imagine that...
On their return home, Claire and Stew stop at a Chaska park to hit a few golf balls... where Claire adopts her Uncle Kermit's golf stroke, which consists of sticking your tongue out, swinging as hard as you can and hoping you hit the ball. Fore!