August 20, 2009

How does my butt look from back there?

Life's been good lately... at least on days that it doesn't rain. You see, I've been getting up early to go for runs with Momma while Stew and Claire have their own morning exercise routine consisting of sawing logs from their respective beds. I have to slow my running pace quite a bit so I'm not dragging her along, but there's nothing like the freshness of the Chaska morning air as we run through the trees around the lake. And a friendly note to anyone who utilizes a walking/biking path with their dog: please be so kind as to pick up after your canine if he/she decides to leave a deposit in the middle of the path. Seriously, I'm amazed by how many dog turds we're forced to dodge during our 3-mile runs... it's like a mini-obstacle course.

Anyway, Stew's got Claire on some sort of work-out regimen of his own
. After Momma drives off for work, Stew and Claire head for the couch to catch about 30 minutes of Fox & Friends on the Fox News Channel for Stew's morning dose of propaganda. Claire calls this morning show, "Papa Cartoons"... most likely referring to cartoonish host, Steve Doocy, or his Woodsy Owl look-a-like co-host, Gretchen Carlson. Luckily, Claire can tell the show is draining what's left of Stew's common sense, so she starts to put up a fuss around 7:30am by informing Stew, "I want to go for a bike ride!" (pronounced "bi-wide"). So Stew reluctantly turns off the TV and prepares Claire's breakfast... which usually includes about a pound of bacon so he can make himself one of his infamous bacon-egg-and-bacon-bagel sandwiches (with extra mayonnaise and jalapeno peppers). I'll pause now to allow you time to run to the bathroom to vomit.

Welcome back! After breakfast, Stew loads Claire into the Burley and pedals her off to the Chaska Town Park where Claire can swing, slide, climb and play in a big sandbox. There's also a large field where Claire can kick her soccer ball, although Stew also makes her shoot hoops on the basketball court in keeping with his plans to mold her into a starting point guard for the University of Minnesota women's basketball team (despite the lack of strong athletic genes in our family). Incidentally, the park is located next to the Chaska Town Course - our gorgeous public golf course. So after Claire gets her fill of playground equipment and running around while Stew's sprawled out atop a picnic table, the two plop down in the grass to watch morning golfers play the 9th Hole (in this particular photo, Claire is pointing at a flock of geese hanging out in the fairway just in front of the green). After watching golf for a while, it's time for the trip home... where there's more bacon sandwiches and maybe a DVD (and almost certainly a nap). So, as you can see, Stew is slowly but surely turning Claire into an uninformed, undisciplined, chubby 40+ yr old man by exposing her to his lifestyle of cable news, bacon-mayonnaise sandwiches, sitting around watching golf and DVDs, taking long naps, and finishing the day with even more propaganda - plus just a hint of "run for the hills!" fear-mongering - when the Glenn Beck Show comes on the Fox News Channel in the afternoon.

Speaking of Fox News, have you heard about the recent NBC/Wall Street Journal poll that pretty much shows Fox News Channel viewers are operating off a different set of facts than the rest of the country? For example:

On Health Care Reform, Those Who Believe That It Will… MSNBC/CNN Viewers Fox News Viewers
Give Coverage To Illegal Immigrants: 41% 72%
Lead To A Government Takeover: 39% 79%
Pay For Abortions: 40% 69%
Stop Care To The Elderly: 30% 75%

In case you don't pay attention to politics or subjects of national interest (like my Uncle Jimmy), I should tell you these are statements that are known to be untrue; however, Fox News viewers believe them in overwhelming numbers. Plus, approximately 40% of MSNBC/CNN (purportedly "liberal" networks) viewers believe these myths. Cable news is info-tainment... it's hardly news at all, certainly isn't journalism, and is destroying America! Did you see the guy at the Montana town hall who stood up and told Obama, "I get my news from cable channels because I don't like the spin you get from the network news." Well done, Fox... just more evidence showing you are producing an audience of vastly misinformed, cultural illiterates. Fair and balanced? My ass! Aside from Stew, we prefer PBS/NPR and newspapers (local/national/foreign) for our news... although, Fox News viewers will tell you PBS/NPR are about as far left as you can go. Then again, the evidence consistently shows PBS/NPR supporters to be the most informed of the citizenry. Sorry, I don't mean to gloat or confuse some of you with actual facts. Well, okay, actually that is my intent... especially to the Anonymous commenter who called me a "moron" for not realizing Sarah Palin is the voice of the American people.

THIS JUST IN! From The Pew Research Center for the People & the Press... still more evidence cable news and most corporate media outlets are rotting the brains of millions of Americans. THIS story was published today at The Pew Research Center website (the graph at right is part of the study). I know, I know... if the info doesn't come from a Fox News poll or someplace like The Heritage Foundation, then it's just more liberal bias bullpucky. But on this blog I report, you decide. Hey, I like how that sounds. I think I'll use it as my new blog slogan.

And a final word from Jon Stewart from last night's The Daily Show... speaking of which, I seem to recall a 2007 Pew Research Center
study that showed viewers of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report have the highest knowledge of national and international affairs, while Fox News viewers rank nearly dead last. Shocking... just shocking!

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
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About This Blog

Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

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