December 25, 2009

Spreading holiday cheer

Christmas Eve at our house was slightly different this year. Grandma, Grandpa and Auntie couldn't be here with us, so we decided to have a little Christmas Eve party with a few friends. We had five adults, two kids and two dogs over for some holiday cheer. And by "holiday cheer" I mean the 16 gallons of homemade eggnog Stew prepared. Needless to say, we'll be swimming in eggnog well into the New Year. Anyway, in anticipation of the biggest snow storm in the history of mankind hitting Minneapolis, we invited my Aunt Susan and Uncle Kermit (along with their two awesome dogs, Berkley and Ole) to spend the night to avoid bad roads. So I threw together a little poem to commemorate the occasion... I hope you like it.

Twas the night before Christmas, when at the Stewart house,
Friends were arriving, prepared to get soused.
Bathrooms stocked full with fresh spray for the air,
Assuming Kermit would frequently be there.

Stew's eggnog fermented for the past two days,
Putting all who drank it into a rich, creamy haze.
Good friends, fine wine, and did I mention the nog?
No doubt ample material for a blogging dog.

I lay in the corner, awaiting a scene,
Such as Stew doing something rude or obscene.
But the evening rolled on with not a tale to be told,
Leaving Kermit to proclaim, "Damn, we're getting old!"

Just two hours before midnight, and the crowd grew thin.
"Anyone for beer pong?" Stew suggests with a grin.
"What are we... nineteen?" Linda asks with a glare,
Causing a sheepish Stew to slump in his chair.

Long gone are glory days of beer bongs and shots,
Replaced with recipe swapping, ear hair and tots.
The Ghost of Hangovers Past will have to wait
To make an appearance on a far distant date.

By half past midnight, all were nestled into bed,
While visions of salmonella danced in their heads.
Momma in her pj's, and Stew -- let's not go there,
Whispered quietly to each other so as not to wake Claire.

[Momma] "We've got some great friends, I think they're the best."
[Stew] "Yea, they're lucky to have us... they sure are blessed."
[Momma] "Why such a douchebag? Can't you just agree?"
[Stew] "Hello? Do you know me? I've got to be me."

So take the advice from a young but sage hound:
When you find good friends, you should keep them around.
So to all our best friends and those we hold dear,
"Merry Christmas to all and a happy New Year!"

2 comments:

Heidi 8:27 AM  

Merry Christmas!

Love the poem...you've got real talent there, Bogart!

Anonymous 4:57 PM  

Merry Christmas!!! You are missing all the snow, 4+ foot drifts.
Aunt Karen

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About This Blog

Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

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