Hippity, Hoppity... Easter's on its way!

It's that time of year again... when Linda, Claire and Auntie Karen load up the SUV for a trip back to Grandma and Grandpa T's SoDak farm. As for me, I stay back to protect the house from would-be looters by sitting on the couch drinking beer, eating massive amounts of chili-dogs and watching bad TV movies. Trust me - nobody wants to set foot in the house after the bombs start flying. Oops. Sorry... too much info? Anyway, I think I'll mix things up this year. I haven't confirmed my exact plans, but I've narrowed it down to either 1) heading to Minneapolis for an evening of Mexican food, margaritas and Golden Tee video golf with friends, Susan and Kermit, or 2) staying home to plan and then plant my crisis garden - you Glenn Beck disciples know exactly what I'm talking about. You see, I'm going to be prepared when the rest of you suckers are all starving! Speaking of Easter, Grandma Stewart arrived yesterday. Within an hour of chatting with Claire, my (conservative) mother asked Claire, "Do you know who's coming this weekend?" My jaw nearly dropped. I couldn't believe it. She's here an hour and is already trying to engage 3-yr old Claire in a conversation about the resurrection of Christ. I let a little chuckle slip out, and my mom looked at me and asked, "What?" I replied, "I don't think Claire's up on the whole Jesus coming back to life story just yet." My mom just looked at me with her mom look. You know the one - the look that says, "I love you dearly, but I can't believe I gave birth to such a moron." I figured she was going to lay into me about it being time Claire hears the story, and what a bad example I'm setting for Claire... yahda, yahda, yahda... And that's when she shakes her head and says, "I was talking about the Easter Bunny!"

So I guess that settles it - I'm going straight to Hell. Happy Easter, everyone!