October 17, 2006

Thank heaven for little girls!

Introducing...

Claire Elizabeth Stewart

Born 10/16/2006 (6:24am)

Weight: 7 lbs 10 oz

Length: 20 inches

(Claire is the one on the left...)

As her daddy often does, Claire arrived earlier than expected... Claire appears to have the Stewart family gene that prohibits us from being late. What did you think I meant? Claire's due date was 10/19/06. A big shout out to Uncle Brad Stewart (the self-proclaimed "StewRat") for his eery April prediction that the baby would be a 7lb 6oz girl arriving on 10/7. Apparently the entire family on both sides knew Claire would be a girl (except for Linda & Stew).

Baby and mommy are both doing very well. Claire is having trouble figuring out the food dispenser on mommy's chest, but we're told this is normal. Linda is receiving three square meals a day. Stew, on the other hand, is surviving on packets of oyster crackers stolen from the hospital's deli. Reports from inside the hospital are that Stew is too big of a tight-ass to spend $5.95 for a deli sandwich with kettle chips (yet he'll blow $12 buying a dozen "Big Texas Cinnamon Rolls" from the hospital vending machine). "I could survive on Mountain Dew and Big Texas rolls if I had to," says Stew. "The Big Texas isn't VENDING MAGAZINE's 2005 #1 Vended Pastry Item because it tastes like a cow pie. It's a delicious, tasty treat!"

Apologies to my "bloggies" for the day-long tardiness of this entry. I was relying on my inside connection (Stew) to have digital photos emailed to me by yesterday to celebrate Claire's birthday. However, it appears that while the hospital has data jacks located throughout the facility, they are not for use by patients or visitors. In fact, Stew was tossed out of the hospital's Health Library for "inappropriate use of hospital property." Believe it or not, Stew was merely plugging his laptop into data jacks in the wall when he was asked to leave by the librarian, Mildred Ratched - a former mental hospital nurse (Googling "Mildred Ratched" might help clarify this point).


1 comments:

Duane's Depressed 12:08 PM  

Congratulations, Bogart! Looks like Linda and Claire are doing well. Tell Linda and the Dog that I absolutely love the name Claire.

Please congratulate Linda and Stew for me, and when you get a chance, I would love to hear more details about Stew's run-in with Nurse Ratched.

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About This Blog

Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

OUR FAMILY - Provides a brief bio on each family member.

THE SAHD CLUB - A rip-off of the letter written by the kids from the 1980's blockbuster hit, The Breakfast Club.

THE DOG DISH - Here you'll find the occasional rant or story written from a dog's point of view.

COMEDY - Here you'll find stuff I think is funny, typically video clips, cartoons or jokes.

LINKS - Just what the name implies.

PAW-LITICS - More rants, typically directed at despicable politicians with whom I disagree.

VIDEO VAULT - Home videos of Claire set to some of our favorite songs.

BUY STUFF - My online store (that is if I ever actually create one).
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