October 18, 2006

Undisputable fact that all cats are evil.

Disabled woman suffers third-degree burns in Wisconsin house blaze

Cats (aka "evildoers") are part of my axis of evil that also includes: mail carriers and vacuum cleaners... which is why our family has house rules:

  • All visiting cats will be tossed on the roof. No exceptions.
  • Mail carriers and vacuum cleaners will be barked at ferociously until they are out of my line of sight.
Cats beware! I'm watching you and am not afraid to levy sanctions. I am also not above manufacturing evidence to support a preemptive strike on you and your clowder.


Anonymous 1:53 PM  


I have no doubt that the cacophony of fascinating and down-right frightening noises that come out of your snout are enough to terrify even the greatest despots of the cat world...and mail-carrying world for that matter. In fact, maybe we've been too focused on the evils of cats and squirrels...maybe we should refocus our attention on the lowly mail carrier. They're incredibly adapted to all weather conditions (making attacks in rain and snow a very real possibility), and worst yet, they know where we live.


Anonymous 2:18 PM  

The moral of this story is; don't train your dog to retrieve the cat in case of fire.


Lily the Beagle 11:38 AM  

I totally KNEW you would pick up on this news story, Bogey. It confirms for me that cats are all just one step away from destroying the world as we know it. My neighbor cat likes to sit on my front steps and taunt me... I will now start watching closely for incendiary devices.

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