"She slimed me..."

It's now Day #2 of Stew's odyssey into stay-at-home parenting. Linda returned to work on Tuesday, leaving Stew and me in charge of babysitting duties. Day #1 was fairly uneventful, with Claire simply eating and sleeping most of the day. That is, until about 11PM last night after her final feeding of the day (Claire likes to have her tank topped-off just before bedtime so she can sleep until 6AM or 7AM). That's when it happened - straight out of Ghostbusters (the 1984 blockbuster movie starring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, etc...). I was upstairs in the master bedroom with Momma, lying on my doggy bed at the foot of Stew and Momma's bed, when Stew came running into the room carrying Claire and screaming, "she slimed me!" - referring to the scene in the movie where a ghost drenches Bill Murray's character in a slimy, green substance. In Stew's case, Claire chose to douse him in milky white vomit. Like the pro she is, Momma simply got out of bed, giggled a little, then took Claire away from Stew. "I'll clean her up, but you're on your own," she tells Stew. So, he turns to me and says, "Bogart, come with me." Not knowing any better than to obey my master, I followed Stew downstairs anticipating a tasty Milkbone upon arrival. Instead, once downstairs, Stew points at a puddle on the carpet left behind by Claire's "sliming" episode and says "there you go, Bogey... it's all yours - lick it up." Are you kidding me? I think not. While I'm confident he was being facetious, I failed to find the humor in Stew's suggestion. I might have, at one time in my youth, had a bad habit of putting my own "droppings" in my mouth while playing in the backyard. But I was just a puppy at the time, and I've long since outgrown that disgusting habit. So, let's all move past my youthful indiscretions and cut this dog some slack. Anyway, Stew wiped up the mess with a towel... no harm done, except that I didn't get my Milkbone.
Day #2 was a little more lively. Not only was it bath day, but Claire also woke up with a tiny scratch on her face, indicating she needs her fingernails clipped. Momma's typically in charge of nail clipping in our house. Not only does she clip Claire's nails, but she also does mine. Stew is way too skittish to handle such a delicate task. Unfortunately for Claire, she had no choice today. I'll spare you the gruesome details. It wasn't pretty. There was blood, and there was crying... lots and lots of crying... and mostly by Stew. I never want to experience this ever again. Several hours have elapsed since the horrific nail clipping incident, and Claire has smiled many, many times throughout the day. It appears she's put it all behind her, but I'm worried that this experience has scarred me for life. Nonetheless, I can hardly wait to see what Day #3 will bring... rumor has it that Claire and Stew are going grocery shopping. So, wish us luck...