February 28, 2007

Puppy love

Believe it or not, I'm disgusted... again. I just realized that come tomorrow, the "new Congress" will have been in control for the past 60 days, and they have yet to enact any laws defining puppy love as "the natural attraction between a dog and another dog." As things stand now, puppy love is recklessly used to describe feelings of infatuation between two adolescent humans... or as a term often used in a derogatory fashion describing emotions which are shallow and transient (i.e., Stew's crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt). Worse yet, I've heard blasphemous assertions that puppy love could be used to describe the allure of a kitten to a puppy. A puppy's only interest in a kitten is as a potential food source. Any puppy with an attraction to a kitten is purely sick and in need of closetification: a term used to describe when a sick puppy must sweep his kitty attraction under the “shame rug.” It is a natural survival tactic due to societal malcontent over the issue of marginalized sectors (see also "the defaggification of Rev. Ted Haggard"). Within no time we'd have dogs and cats living together resulting in total hysteria. Dogs and cats are not meant to propagate (as stated in Chapter 5 of The Dog Bible: RAISING A GOOD PUPPY - http://www.thedogbible.com). Now, it's been said that my cat attacks are spiteful. True. I admit it, and I'll sincerely try to temper my tirades in the future. However, I must stand firm on my belief that puppy love remains as intended - between two dogs.

One thing Congress (or at least the House) was able to accomplish so far was passing a non-binding resolution stating that Congress supports the troops but does not support Dubya's "surge" plan. Wow... way to guy, Dems! You're really sending a message to Dubya, Dick and the boys... Unfortunately, something got lost in translation 'cause they're about to bomb the Shiite out of Iran (or is it Sunni?). I can never keep 'em straight. Isn't this resolution a lot like me telling Hershey's that while I love the classic Reese's and it's perfect combination of creamy peanut butter goodness inside a rich milk chocolate cup, I cannot support Hershey's decision to create a crunchy version of this treat (http://www.hersheys.com/crunchy/ecards/ecard.aspx?HF03CRD=QCOQOUB1D3R5K8Q0). I suspect Hershey's will ignore my decree much the same way the Executive Branch ignores Congress... and the American people for that matter. And now the Democrats are considering repealing the 2002 legislation approving the war in Iraq... so Hillary doesn't have to apologize for voting for the war and the rest of them can save face for having used poor judgement in voting for it in the first place. It's back to business as usual in Washington... and they don't seem to have any problem continuing to play the game.

Anyway, I've been very busy following the babblings of Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (http://dumpbachmann.blogspot.com/). As if Jesse Ventura wasn't humiliating enough for our state, now we have an intolerant nutcase in Washington representing us (not my district, but still...) At least her hubby performs the aforementioned "defaggification" process for his church, so he can't be all bad. Anyway, here's a cute picture of Claire to remind you why I'm raving mad about the state of the world these days... we need to stop the madness for the sake of Claire and all her little buddies!


Anonymous 11:40 AM  


I'm back to the blog...after a very unfortunate departure. I wanted to thank you for all of the very sweet things you said about Ole and I back in December. I was a treat to read. My only other comment regarding this particular entry - due you think it's odd the two pictures posted are of adorable Claire and then of Jennifer Love Hewitt's ginormous breasts? The two seem a little at odds with each other, don't ya think?


Bogart 9:48 AM  

Hi, Susan!!! And welcome back to the blogosphere. You have been missed, and Stew has a 5 lbs butternut squash he wants to turn into soup for you (and us). Are you using your "work" email? If so, be on the look out for Tom Lyden...

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Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

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