April Fool's Day (sort of)

In case you didn't already figure it out, Saturday's post was an April Fool's Day gag. So, to make it official... APRIL FOOL'S! Claire did NOT break Stew's nose (even though his nose looks grossly crooked and bulbous). I realize Sunday was April 1st. But, you need to remember that I'm a dog, so time goes by quicker for me and April Fool's Day came a day early on my doggie calendar. And in my world, Easter is just two days away, so I expect a basket of chocolates from each of you before the end of the week. Since I'm a dog with no sense of time (or comic timing), it's quite appropriate that I present my April Fool's Day joke a day early. Besides, an April Fool's Day hoax is more believable if it's staged a day early... wouldn't you agree? Plus, Stew once told me, "Bogey, there are only three good reasons to lie: first, to get out of doing stuff you don't want to do... second, lying is okay as long as nobody gets hurt... and third, lie if it will keep you from being sent to jail." Stew apparently has experience with all three scenarios, but I won't get into that here. Come to think of it, Stew has the qualifications necessary to work at the White House in the event this stay-at-home-dad and/or freelance writer thing doesn't pan out.

Speaking of fools, do you remember the Olsen Twins? They're the two "actresses" that shared the role of Michelle on the ill-fated TV show, Full House, which miraculously ran eight full seasons from 1987 to 1995. The show would've lasted longer if the producers would've just written off Kimmy Gibbler (the annoying next door neighbor and best friend of DJ Tanner). They should have replaced her with a dog. Remember Eddie, the dog from Frasier? Why do you think that show was so successful? EVERYBODY loved Eddie (played by Moose, my hero and a Jack Russell Terrier from Minnesota... who passed in June 2006). Eddie reportedly received more fan mail than any other character on the show, and he earned $10,000 per episode. Plus, did anyone see the fantastic movie, My Dog Skip? Well, Moose played Skip in that movie. Brilliant! Simply brilliant! Dang, that dog had range. Rest in Peace, Moose...

Anyway, I forgot why I brought up the Olsen Twins. Oh, yah... this is why: one of them has apparently turned into a vampire (I think it's Mary-Kate). I'm becoming more fearful of these two than I am of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richey. At least the twins are self-made millionaires, and that's something you'll never be able to say about 3/4 of the Hollywood starlets who grace the pages of Stew's favorite magazine, "US Weekly". I fear Stew will someday snap and head off to Hollyweird to stalk all these supposed "starlets" in much the same was as I stalk squirrels in the backyard. Fortunately for the starlets, Stew does not possess my stalking prowess. The worst thing he can do is yell "you suck" at them from a distance... or maybe chase them up a tree.