July 30, 2007

Heeeeeeeere's Stookie!

Using my best Ed McMahon voice, I'm pleased to introduce y'all to my new pal, Stookie. He has a full name, complete with a middle name, but Stew couldn't remember what it is to tell me. Typical. I have yet to meet Stookie in person, but I've heard a lot about him from Momma and Stew, so I'm confident I'll enjoy his company. When he finally comes to visit, I plan to put the smackdown on him... but in a very playful way, of course. I just want him to know who's boss around here. Stookie recently joined the Angie & Andy Jacobs family of St. Cloud, MN. Yes, THAT Jacobs family. I'm sure you've heard of them. Last Thursday, momma and Stew had a meeting with Andy, financial advisor extraordinaire and all-around good egg, before heading to the Jacobs' house to meet Stookie and dine on delicious chicken tacos. I was banned from the trip, most likely so I wouldn't learn that Momma and Stew have no intentions of sharing any of their millions with me upon their demise. But, I already knew this information after listening to some recently captured audio surveillance from a bug I planted several months ago. Apparently, Claire's getting it all... while I get something like a year's supply of Milkbones. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Then again, I'm not sure what I'd do with a bag full of millions of dollars. Most likely, I'd chew on the bag until it tears open to expose its fleshy innards, at which point I'd meticulously remove the innards and scatter them about the house until all that's left is a lifeless bag (and torn up dollar bills everywhere). I wonder if a bag full of dollars comes with a squeeky soundmaker inside? That would be awesome.

Anyway, back to Stookie. He's a cross-breed puppy, which is a puppy created by breeding two distinct breeds together. Like a jackalope... which is a cross between a jack rabbit and an antelope. Don't ask me how they do it. Frankly, I don't know nor do I want to know. Conversely, I'm a mixed breed... my DNA is comprised of several different breeds. Like Jennifer Love Hewitt. She's a mix of a heavenly angel, a devilish seductress, and a pair of water balloons. Hey, it wasn't my idea of including "Love" in this posting, but Stew insisted on it. For some reason, he has a little crush on her and wants me to use her photo "as often as possible." Again, getting back to Stookie. Of course, Stew forgot what two breeds were combined to create little Stookie. Typical. He thinks one is Brichon Frise, but that's just a guess.

Stew arrived home from the St. Cloud trip with photos of Stookie. Here's one of Stookie attacking Stew's sock with the ferocity of a Tazmanian Devil (don't let the ghostly pale legs detract from the cuteness of this photo). My guess is that Stookie was likely minding his own business before Stew stuck his foot in front of Stookie's face and started shaking it while saying something like, "grrrrrrrr... you want to bite my sock, Stookie... come on, I dare ya!" Then, Stew probably acted surprised when everyone noticed Stookie attacking Stew's sock. Sort of like oh, I don't know, invading a country for no reason then asking, "why are they shooting back at us?" But, I'll withold my political rants for another day.

Today is all about Stookie! Welcome to the club, fella. I look forward to meeting you soon. In the meantime, I'll be checking out www.jacobs-financial.com for all my insurance and investing needs!


Anonymous 8:14 PM  

Bogart--I look forward to meeting you and possibly having my way with your head.
Thank you for writing such great things about me and JLH--I agree on the water balloons--makes me want to bite them!

Stookie Ray

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About This Blog

Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

OUR FAMILY - Provides a brief bio on each family member.

THE SAHD CLUB - A rip-off of the letter written by the kids from the 1980's blockbuster hit, The Breakfast Club.

THE DOG DISH - Here you'll find the occasional rant or story written from a dog's point of view.

COMEDY - Here you'll find stuff I think is funny, typically video clips, cartoons or jokes.

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