August 01, 2007

Claire adds the head-butt to her arsenal

Claire has perfected the head-butt. She's been working on it for several months, and I think she's finally got it down pat. She usually unleashes her furious attacks on Stew, but sometimes Momma gets smacked around. Claire typically uses the head-butt whenever she's tired and is being held by Momma or Stew. First, she starts rubbing her eyes and whimpering... a sign that she's tired and ready for a nap. Then, she begins burying her head into the chest of her holder, eventually calming down in an effort to trick her holder into thinking she's drifting off into slumber. I often hear whoever's holding Claire whisper something like, "...ahhhh, what a cute little baby." This quiet, innocent phrase is usually followed by a loud, "WHAT THE [BLEEP]!" In an instant, Claire goes from a tranquil little angel to a ferocious beast. Just as she lulls her holder into letting their guard down, Claire suddenly rears her head back before unleashing a wicked head-butt into the face of her holder. It's brutal and, frankly, it scares me. Some of you will recognize this picture from a posting I made back in March:
And even though the posting was an April Fool's Day entry, I think it's simply a foreshadowing of the inevitable.

Now that Claire is the heroine of the house after wrangling and hog-tying the Kenmore Progressive vacuum as it was trying to escape our house (and head to yours to terrorize your pets), she's been swaggering around the house like a little diva. And by "swagger", I mean "crawling with a proud stiff pompous gait." She has her favorite locales she likes to visit most often, and you can always tell whenever she's heading toward one of them because she lets out a shrill "squeal!" before sprinting to the area. Her favorite places of the house, in order of preference are:

1) the area under the computer desk (where the surge protector full of electrical cords is located)... where she can grasp the power cords shortly before banging her head on the underside of the desk when she tries to stand up;

2) my dog dish... she prefers the water dish over the food dish, as if it's a tiny little wading pool in which she can splash her hands (before promptly putting her wet hands into her mouth);

3) the bathroom... specifially, she likes to sit on the scale, but is equally fond of attempting to crawl up the toilet; and

4) the front door... she prefers when the door is open so she can stand against the storm door and bang on the window. She REALLY starts squealing when she sees Momma pull into the driveway after arriving home from work. Otherwise, throughout the day, Claire assists me with my patrol duties by scanning the frontyard for trespassers intent on causing our household harm (i.e., squirrels).

Before any grandparents start calling/emailing about Claire's aforementioned favorite places around the house, please trust that our home is more baby- and puppy-safe than it sounds. Trust me. I've survived this place for nearly two years.


Anonymous 12:13 PM  

Bogey -

As the mother of a diva myself, I see all the tell-tale signs coming out in Claire! It doesn't matter how many times you dress her in those tomboy bib overalls, the diva comes from deep down inside and there's little you can do to mask or restrain those qualities.

My advice is not to fight it any longer! Just prepare yourself for the full takeover!

Yours in support,

Support my dawgs!

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About This Blog

Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

OUR FAMILY - Provides a brief bio on each family member.

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THE DOG DISH - Here you'll find the occasional rant or story written from a dog's point of view.

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