Little Miss Robbinsdale? I think not...

Nothing sends me screaming from a room like listening to Barbara Walters talking about sex on The View. And the gals on The View were just talking about sex and orgasms, so I grabbed Claire and got out of there as fast as I could. I believe Stew, on the other hand, is still curled up in the corner of the room crying, "make it stop... please, just make it stop!" Nothing against Barbara Walters, but she might as well be talking about "taking a poo" because I'd rather hear her discussing her own bodily functions than her talking about her sex life. I think I still have a little throw-up in my mouth. Give me a minute while I lap up some water from my dog-dish to rinse out the vomit...

So, since TV time is over for the day, I'm taking this opportunity to post a quick blog entry. I've been thinking a lot lately about the baby photo contest in which we entered Claire, and there's something I need to get off my chest. You remember the contest, don't you? The one she didn't win because you people didn't vote enough times online like I had asked you to do... does that ring a bell? You also might recall the contest was subsequently won by something that just barely resembles a baby, but I won't get into that again. Anyway, I'm starting to worry that Claire might want to enter these contests on her own when she gets older. Our biggest fear is Claire becoming a pageant princess (sorry for the creepy blurred face on this photo, but I don't want to be sued by this kid or her folks). Can you imaging Momma as a "pageant mom", and Stew would probably get arrested by pageant security for "scaring the children." We won't stop Claire if that's what she wants, but maybe we shouldn't encourage her by entering her in beauty contests (contests that are clearly fixed and will only lead to heartbreak anyway). So, I don't think Little Miss Robbinsdale is in the cards for Claire anytime soon.

Plus, there's a video circulating on the internet showing a high school pageant contestant that has scared me straight. I will do whatever is in my power to keep Claire from this sort of embarrassment. A word of warning, the following video is worse (or better, depending on your perspective) than the Miss South Carolina babbling video. Take a look...

This is about enough for today. I need a drink... in the meantime, here's a picture of Claire and me that Stew shot right after showing us the above video. Claire looks like she's about to cry, and I'm in utter disbelief. Happy Monday...