Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?

Do you remember my other blog? You know, the one I wrote about last October. The one I said would be up and running in November (but it wasn't). The one I wrote about (again) in The Stewart Family Barker Christmas newsletter because I expected the blog to be ready for viewing by Christmas week (which is wasn't). Well... I'm announcing today the RE-LAUNCH of Wag the Dog. It took longer than expected to hire a team of journalistic hounds, but I've got a full crew assembled, and I wrote my first editorial last night. Since we're in the thick of the presidential primaries, the editorial is about our endorsement for the Presidential Ticket. But don't worry, the blog won't be all politics all the time. I promise. In the meantime, click on the picture above to read my new blog (or click on its title in MY LINKS section over on the right side of this page).

In other news... here's a picture of Claire and me after Stew announced this morning that "we're going to school tomorrow!"

The frightened look on my face is not an exaggeration. I do NOT want to go to school as I feel I do not require any further education. I am a good dog and very obedient. Notice the dumbfounded look on Claire's face, as if she's thinking "Watcha talkin' 'bout, Papa? I don't need no stinkin' schoolin'!" Luckily for me, I soon learned that I am not invited to attend classes via the Robbinsdale Area Schools Early Childhood Family Education Program. Tomorrow's class is a "sample class" so Claire and Stew can decide if they want to enroll in the 13-week program. I will likely retire to the master bedroom and sleep on my doggie bed for a couple hours while they're away. Here's a picture of Claire with her book bag and her probably thinking, "what I am supposed to do with this thing?"

Anyway, Momma and Stew think Claire could use some socialization with other toddlers her age. For some reason, they don't think having Claire couped up in the house all day with me is the best thing for her. But I disagree. I've been teaching Claire important life skills over the last 15 months. Such as, how to bury your bones and hide your chew toys (Claire now is quite adept at hiding her toys in the office filing cabinet... inside the antique umbrella stand in the living room... and in a variety of kitchen cupboards). I've taught her how to drink from a dog dish, and how to talk like a dog (she says "Arf! Arf! Arf!" over and over again, although it sounds exactly like a blaring car alarm). This spring, I plan to teach Claire how to track, capture and eradicate Al Qaeda-recruited extremist squirrels. I see them all over the backyard, and I think they're sneaking into the garage and holding training meetings. But they have no idea that I'm planning my own surge with an army of well-trained toddlers. I've seen how surges clearly work (based on reports I watch on Fox News), so I'm excited to put my plan in motion. Stew asked if I have a Plan B in the event the surge doesn't go as well as planned, and I just shrugged him off. I don't plan for defeat or surrender, my friends.

Anyway, I hope to have a report on Claire's first day of school sometime tomorrow. Stay tuned...