Look out below!

Is there anybody still out there? My apologies for the extended absence, but I've been busy. It was a Festival of Colors at our house last week. One might say our house was briefly transformed into a vomitorium. Is that even a word? If not, it should be.

That's right. Early last week, poor little Claire caught a stomach flu bug. As we've since learned, the flu shot she received with vaccinations is for her respiratory system and doesn't do much for the prevention of the stomach flu. That's just great. So, Claire's first projectile was Monday night around 8pm, and she was not particular as to where or on whom she puked. She just let it fly, so I had to be on guard at all times. By the time she finally fell asleep around 11:30pm, the toll on garments and furniture vomitized by Claire included: the recliner seat cushion, two large spots on the downstairs carpet, one small spot on the upstairs rug, two sets of Claire's pajamas, two throw pillows, two blankets, three bath towels, Stew's Atari t-shirt and a pair of jeans, Momma's sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants, and - finally - Stew's G.I. Joe t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. On Tuesday morning around 9am, Claire started things up again by spewing on the kitchen floor. At 9:01am, Stew was in the kitchen calling, "Bogart.... come here." Unbenounced to Stew, I was in the kitchen at 8:59am and saw what was about to occur, so I hightailed it outta there. Can you believe Stew expected me to clean up the mess? I can. Typical...

Around 10am Tuesday, Stew was on the nurse line speaking with Nurse Ratchet about dehydration and other fun topics. She told Stew that if Claire showed any signs of dehydration that he should "bring her in!" Incidentally, Tuesday was also Stew's first experience administering a rectal thermometer. But don't worry, it wasn't a self exam! No, he remembered from the (what he thought were useless at the time) birthing classes he and Momma took while Claire was still a zigote that you are always supposed to take the baby's temperature before calling the clinic. Give Stew a gold star for at least remembering this. Stew was pretty good with the thermometer, and he could probably make a living selling thermometers if he ever goes back to a sales job. Anyway, Tuesday was a long day.

Wednesday morning around 9am or so, Momma came walking in the house, home from work early! So, I quickly grabbed my chew toy and brought it to her while wagging my tail like nobody's business. But she walked right past me and into the bathroom, where I soon heard sounds I hope to never hear again. Yup... Momma caught the flu, too. So, while Momma spent the day traveling between her bedroom and the bathroom, Stew was downstairs with Claire all day trying to get her to stop crying. Claire basically cried or slept all day Tuesday and Wednesday, while Momma made crazy noises in the bathroom.

On Thursday, Momma was still sick and decided to stay home from work. Plus, Claire was still acting like a little zombie... very tired and cranky. So, Stew decided to diagnose Claire as being "dehydrated", and he took her in for a 10:10am appointment to see the first available pediatrician. It takes about 12 minutes to drive to the clinic, plus another 4 minutes just to park. It's about 2 minutes more from the parking garage to the 4th Floor Pediatrics Clinic, and you typically have to wait about 4 minutes after checking in. So, after a 22 minute investment of time, Stew and Claire were face-to-face with Dr. Bob. He asked Stew a few questions before examing Claire, then he sent Stew and Claire on their way back home after about 3 minutes in the exam room. Apparently Stew's definition of "dehydration" differs greatly from that of Dr. Bob (not to mention the American Medical Association's). Dr. Bob said that if Claire's condition didn't improve within 24 hours, then he would suggest a urine test. To test for what, we're not sure, but he's the doctor. Anyway, after another long day, Stew brought a late dinner of four burritos smothered in cheese downstairs to enjoy while watching some TV before bedtime...

Friday morning around 5am, Stew was wishing badly that he hadn't decided to eat four burritos at 9pm the night before. By 7am, it was apparent it wasn't just the burritos that were making him sick... it was that blasted flu bug. Since Momma was feeling better, she went to work because she had back-to-back meetings at 9am and 10am. Luckily for Stew, she called before her 10am meeting to see how things were going. Needless to say, Momma arrived home at 11:15am to take care of everybody. Luckily Claire was feeling better, but Stew spent the rest of the day traveling between the bedroom and the bathroom.

Everyone is back to normal now, but house projects have been delayed. You might recall we hope to relocate, so I've been busy helping Stew try to catch up on the projects. So, bear with me while we work on other things. I'll still try blogging about Claire as often as I can, though. In the meantime, I've since learned to keep one eye looking upward for flying vomit. A fella can never be too careful.