A Fight to the Furnish

I've recently started lobbying Stew for a bigger house. I mean, if he and Momma think they need more space, then so do I (what's good for the dude, is good for the dog). And speaking of houses, we had another offer on our house. We got the offer about three weeks ago, and I'm just now cooling off since it was another "we'll give you a crapload less money than you want, plus we want you to pay our closing costs... plus give us another $12,000 on top of all the other crap we're asking for." Needless to say, we politely turned down the offer. Anyway, I still want a new house in order to intimidate the terrorist squirrels in the backyard. You see, if they see me investing money in a state-of-the-art dog mansion (complete with missile launchers), then they'll be forced to spend all the acorns they've saved for the cold winter just to keep up with my spending.

Still confused? Well, to better explain what I mean, watch this Stephen Colbert clip where he brilliantly talks about defeating the terrorists.