Yes, We Did!

So what if I'm a little late with my post-election blog entry? But I've been busy going through boxes trying to find my delicious Breath Buster dog biscuits. You see, Momma is always complaining about my dog breath, so I get to eat these biscuits that are supposed to help my breath (which they don't). Anyway, I have to constantly remind Momma that I am, in fact, a dog that takes breaths several times throughout the day. Therefore, it's safe to assume I will possess "dog breath". Anyway, I overheard Momma yesterday asking Stew to put "schedule a teeth cleaning for Bogey" on his To Do list. The two of them attempted to brush my teeth last night, but I juked and jived until I made my way to the safety of the mudroom, where I raised a paw and waved it side-to-side while barking, "Oh no you didn't!" Unfortunately I have yet to locate my magic lasso to use on Stew to force him to tell me where he's hiding my dog breath doggy biscuits!

I've also been quite busy in these post-election days living in Right Wing World by listening to the likes of radio "personalities" Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity (who I like to refer to as Uber-douchebags). Trust me when I tell you Right Wing World is an extremely scary place where you are not allowed to think for yourself. Luckily, you need only turn on the radio or flip on Fox News Channel to learn everything you need to know to be a good Right Winger. For example, in Right Wing World, the failing economy is apparently "President Obama's" fault... sort of like how the 9-11 attacks were Bill Clinton's fault, even though Dubya ignored a briefing paper given to him by the Clinton Administration stating "Bin Laden Determined to Attack Within the United States"... and even though the attacks occurred well into Dubya's first term as president. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Obama doesn't actually become "President Obama" until mid-January 2009. Then again, facts are irrelevant in Right Wing World. In fact, just yesterday I learned in Right Wing World that Obama is using fear to push his policies forward. Really? If this is true, I wonder how life will be living in a country under the leadership of a fear-mongering administration? YIKES!

About a month before Election Day, I intercepted a Right Wing World email correspondence meant for Stew (who still lives in La-La Land). The purpose of the email was to inform him that "This is the scariest election we as Christians have ever faced, and from the looks of the polls, the Christians aren't voting Christian values. We all need to be on our knees!" You have to remember that Obama is a Muslim (i.e., terrorist) in Right Wing World, while McCain is... Methodist? Lutheran? Well, we're not sure what religion he is but it really doesn't matter because he was a POW (not to mention he's a white dude). The email goes on to encourage Stew to spend one hour each day praying "that the Bible will remain the basis for the laws governing our land..." Who needs that silly Constitution, right? Well, Right Wingers, God has given you his answer hasn't he? Now can we please keep the televangelists in their churches (where they belong) and out of the White House? And to show God still has a sense of humor, he (or she) allowed bat-shit crazy Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann to remain in Congress for two more years. I fell off my doggy bed when I heard the news... good one, God!

So, it's my hope this will be my last politically-oriented posting for a while so I can get back to telling you stories about Claire. Then again, I might have something to say about Al Franken in the coming days or weeks. In the meantime, I leave you with Change We Can Believe In... even Right Wingers! I'm not sure anyone knows, but I was elected Bavaria Hills Neighborhood Watch President. I ran unopposed, and I'm currently the only member of the organization. But I saw a squirrel's nest high atop a tree in our backyard shortly after we moved in, and I felt it was my duty to serve. I protected Robbinsdale for two years, and now it's my honor to protect the Bavaria Hills neighborhood of Chaska. You're welcome!