December 05, 2008

Delusions of grandeur

Believe it or not, this is NOT a post about Governor Sarah Palin. I realize the title might make you think I have more to say about the gubernatorial gaffe machine, but that's not the case. In fact, I'm biting my tongue today even after catching a Barbara Walters' interview with Rush Limbaugh last night on ABC (when Rush told Babs that he loves Sarah Palin). Should anyone who says "I love Sarah Palin" in public really be taken seriously (or given a $35M contract to spew hatred to millions of morons on a daily basis)?

Anyway... we recently took our annual Thanksgiving trip to visit Grandpa Bob and Grandma Helen on their South Dakota farm. In past years, Stew has always found a way to hornswoggle me into posing for a photo while sitting atop a hay bale. But not this year. Nope. I'm wise to his deceptive ways, and I was not going to be duped again. In fact, this year I planned to expand my vocational horizons and add "Farm Dog" to my resume which already includes the following professions:

- Stay-at-home Dog (I prefer the term "Primary Caregiver")
- Homeland & Backyard Security Expert
- Special Agent - Dep
artment of Guardianship (DOG)
- Professional Stunt Dog (for the 2007 Underdog movie)
- Male Model & Actor
- Producer/Director for TwoDogs Productions

- Professional Momma Walker (and her Part-time Running Coach)

So, the first morning of our farm visit, Momma let me out the front door of the farmhouse in order to take care of my morning "business". She apparently forgot that I was out front because she never returned to let me back into the house. Therefore, I took it upon myself to begin exploring my "Farm Dog" role. I started by barking at a few cars and trucks passing by the house along U.S. Highway 83. Then I wandered around to the back of the house, which leads to the farmyard, barns, feedlots, fields and pastures. Upon arrival, I chased a ferral cat into a barn before stopping to ponder my next move. While I was trying to decide between patrolling the tree line for rogue coyotes or heading to the feedlot to herd cattle, I was met by Lucy - Grandpa's "real" farm dog (pictured here). And let me just say that Lucy was not amused. She shared a few harsh words with me, and I immediately took off for the tree line. It was there I was sitting when Stew came out of the farmhouse to help Grandpa haul gravel. Grandpa Bob stuck his head out of his tractor to yell "You're dog's back there!" (pointing at me sitting by the tree line). So, Stew instructed me to return to the house, but I was not going to move. You see, Lucy was also barking orders at me to "stay where you are... or else!" Luckily, Lucy eventually followed Grandpa Bob to the feedlot, allowing me to sprint back into the safety of the house... thus putting an abrupt end to my delusion of becoming a Farm Dog.

On a positive note, I was able to capture a few cute photos o
f Claire.

Here's Claire in a Britney Spears moment with Grandma (farm kids are allowed to drive at the age of two in most agricultural states)...

And more with Grandma and Grandpa...


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About This Blog

Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

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