April 22, 2010

Earth Day - Part Deux

"This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you." Those were my exact words before I switched the vacuum to "ON" and got out of the way as fast as I could (with Bogey one step ahead of me). Claire had to learn it's unacceptable to dig for worms inside the house. "Just wait for it to rain then pick them up off the driveway in the morning," I told her. Curse you, Sesame Street, for putting this idea in Claire's head by showing kids digging for worms in a flower garden! Speaking of worms, I remember back when I was a bartender at the Oahe Lodge - a hunting-fishing resort north of Pierre (SD) where I accepted tips of Budweiser and walleye fillets in lieu of spare change - we had a bait man come by each week with worms, minnows and leeches. I'm sure he had a name, but we just called him "bait man" (and don't ask what name we had for his boss... just figure it out on your own). Maybe we've got a bait man here in Chaska, although I doubt it. Note to self: use the Google machine to research local competition then run a cost benefit analysis on starting up a bait business in Chaska. 

Regarding the photo above, Claire being dressed in a 1950's style housewife get-up was completely coincidental. Or maybe it's more of a 1970's Carol Brady look? In my opinion, she looks like a mini June Cleaver in flats instead of heels. I thought at any moment she would turn to me and say, "Ward, I'm very worried about the Beaver." Instead she just said, "I don't like this." Ahhhh, lesson learned. It would appear I'm quite the teacher. I then told Claire, "Now, Grasshopper, go forth and hold this lesson - not in memory - but in your future deeds." Anyway, in addition to today being Earth Day, it was also Picture Day at Claire's preschool. We spent the better part of last night coaching Claire to NOT smile. I realize that sounds strange, but anyone who has seen Claire smile on command knows it just doesn't look natural. It looks more like she's been trained at the John McCain School of Awkward Facial Expressions. Not pretty. But, fortunately, after I picked her up at preschool this afternoon, Claire informed me that the photographer had all the kids say "blueberries" and "raisins" instead of simply telling them to smile. So, we'll see how the class photo turns out, but we're confident it will be very cute. And speaking of very cute...

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Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

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