Bongs, Barbies, Bimbos, Blowhards and Beer Pong
We all need heroes in our lives, and I'm not talking about the sandwich kind. Well, I think I just found another hero to add to my list. 
His name is Acea Schomaker, and he's the guy who stuffed his hyperactive cat into a homemade marijuana bong and tried to smoke it (okay, so it's a kitten... you say tomato, I say it's still a damn, dirty cat). I'm sure some won't believe this, but I don't think Stew or I have the technological know-how to build a bong. Besides, at our house, we simply throw unruly cats onto the roof. You can read more about Acea here. And I predict it will be no time before unambitious youth across the country begin referring to the act of smoking marijuana as blazing the kitty. And if you don't like to read news articles, here's a little 30-second video you can watch instead:
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
In other news, a West Virginia lawmaker has introduced a bill in the state's legislature that would ban the sale of Barbie's and other dolls like her [source]. Apparently, the Democratic delegate feels the glamorous-looking doll sends the wrong message to West Virginia girls by putting too much emphasis on physical beauty. In response to the proposed legislation, Mattel (the maker of Barbie) has quickly developed two prototypes of dolls that would be sold exclusively in West Virginia and parts of Appalachia. Stay-at-home-dog broke this story today and brings you the first-ever photos of Mattel's new dolls...
REDNECK BARBIE
RED STATE KEN & BARBIE
In still more white trash news, The Superficial (the world's greatest celebrity gossip site) is reporting
Paris Hilton plans to spend $280,000 for a diamond-encrusted dashboard for her new $200,000 pink Bentley [source]. So, the next time you're listening to multi-millionaires Rush Limbaugh or Bill O'Reilly complaining about the socialist government wanting to take money from them and other rich people (by raising the marginal tax rate to the whopping 39% it was back in the 1990's), just think about Paris Hilton spending on a dashboard an amount of money that could buy her two (crappy) houses in Robbinsdale, MN. But do you really want to make it more difficult for our little American princess to buy a half-million dollar pink car? Then again, something tells me raising her tax rate by four percent isn't going to phase her... but don't listen to me because I'm apparently one of them there socialists.On the political front... a few words from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Please do not watch if you insist on only getting your political news from sources like Fox News, TownHall.com, and/or The Drudge Report... it's apparent you don't care about opposing viewpoints, plus the humor and satire in this clip will be totally lost on you. You have been warned.
And, finally, some health news from Stephen Colbert and The Colbert Report:
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