STAY-AT-HOME-DOG

TOP 10 THINGS I'M THANKFUL FOR THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

10. My luxurious dog bed... stuffed full of little kittens for extra softness.

9. Stew did not name me after the loveable Seinfeld character, Kramer.

8. I am not a hunting dog that's part of the Annual Dick Cheney Thanksgiving Weekend Wild Turkey Hunt (a fundraising event for poor, retired oil and gas company executives... sponsored by Halliburton, of course).

7. My blazing speed and the slow squirrels that venture too far from the big maple trees in the backyard. I'll be serving roasted squirrel's tail for Christmas dinner this year!

6. Stew's sloppy turkey carving skills that result in tasty morsels of turkey breast scattered about the kitchen floor.

5. Costco (the discount warehouse)... and the 300lb bags of dog treats Stew brings home every other week.

4. The ability to clean myself. You see, I absolutely hate being thrown into the shower... especially when Stew strips down and jumps in with me. Trust me when I say it's much worse than the visual in your mind.

3. Only two more years of Dubya... as long as the meathead manages to keep from starting World War III. Some would say we are already in WW III, but I recently heard that it's not an official "world war" until the French surrender to somebody.

2. Grandma Helen's homemade psychedelic dog biscuits for me; RC Cola for momma; and large iced mochas from Caribou Coffee for papa Stew (who likes to refer to the mochas as Instant Fat Guy Potion).

1. All my cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents... and CLAIRE, of course!!!

* more pictures of Claire are available for viewing by following the My Pictures link...