Reindeer games

Today, momma is participating in the Life Time Fitness Reindeer Run, a 5K race around Lake Harriet. This is her first run since a 5K back in March. She's joining her running buddies, Bev and Karen, and Stew thinks they're ALL nuts! It's like 400 degrees below zero right now, so Stew, Claire and I are lounging around the house in our toasty pajamas. Claire is currently impersonating a bear cub by making growling sounds, which means she's either hungry... or she's "full". Stew's reading the newspaper, and I was surfing the internet looking for a job before deciding to blog. I'm looking for a job application to be Britney Spears' new stylist. That girl is in desperate need of some underoos. More importantly, I'm in desperate need of her putting on some underwear. If I see another picture of her bare yoo-hoo, I'm fairly certain I'll go blind. My first act as her new stylist will be to take her shopping for some underpants. My second act will be to throw out all her trucker hats that have "Shut Up and Do Me!" embroidered on them. But, if she decides to stay with her current stylist, I'm hoping to become her publicist or image consultant. Not only does this girl need some pants, but she also needs a major league image overhaul. Leaving her multi-talented husband appeared to be a move in the right direction - toward the less offensive end of the White Trash Continuum... the end where we simply see Britney driving her SUV with her baby in her lap. Britney's explanation: "I'm country, ya'll... it's what we do." If I were a country dog, I would dismount my cousin right now in protest! This is not the image good country folk want portrayed by their cultural icons. So, please hire me as your image consultant, Britney! Even though you've mystified the world by selling a gazillion records despite having no singing talent whatsoever (just like your idol, Madonna), I fear you are just one crotch shot away from ruining your career forever... and I'm pretty sure that hitching your wagon to Paris Hilton's star will only lead you to a life of porn. Plus, am I the only one who remembers how Paris treated her supposed one-time best friend, Tinkerbell? http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/337266p-287967c.html This is how Paris treats her friends, Britney, so be careful. Your best bet is to pack your millions into the back of your pickup and follow the banjo music back home to the mountains, y'all.