February 21, 2007

Nice try, Sammy the Cat

If anyone read the comment from Sammy the Cat in yesterday's blog, then I'm sure you'll agree that it was a weak attempt at feline vindication. Sammy, if that is your real name, claims that cats are a more sophisticated animal species than canines. It appears the foundation of this groundless claim is the mere fact that cats "confine (their) mess to litter boxes..." while us dogs use the backyard as our outhouse. This would be a justifiable assertion if the cat actually cleaned the litter box after using it. Instead, like the selfish animal it is, the cat relies on humans to do the dirty work. And what about the smell (and don't give me that crap about odorless litter boxes... pun intended... ask any non-cat owner their thoughts on a house containing an "odorless" litter box). On the other hand, by dogs doing our thing outdoors, the human simply needs to scoop the turds and toss 'em over the fence into the neighbor's yard. It takes all of three seconds. Therefore, I submit that dogs are the true friend of mankind.

Now, to address the deceptive claim that cats actually saved a man's life (http://www.rockmom.com/discuss/msgReader$379). Pussy, please! I've read this story, and it's clear to me the life-saving deed was simply the unintentional outcome of the actions of self-centered cats. I don't see where the cats ran into a burning building to save children - like dogs do daily. I don't see where the cats climbed a mountain in a blizzard to save stranded climbers - like dogs do seasonally. I don't see where the cats took on a 2,000 lb bull to save a bull fighter - like dogs apparently do if they've had too much tequila. No, instead I read how a dying man was forced to get out of the comfort of his bed because Tabby needed attention. Furthermore, the man had to keep pushing them off his death bed BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT THEM THERE! These cats are so vain that they will pee on a dying man's bed just because they want -- or, rather NEED -- attention. If this isn't a clear indication of the cat's haughtiness, then I don't know what is. What a pitiful animal. And the writer of the sad story goes on to say she named her two new kitties, Attilla and Hun (obviously named after Atilla the Hun, the epitome of cruelty and rapacity). Case closed.

Claire is so upset with Sammy's comment that she asked that I post a photo of her with just a few of her favorite animal friends. Notice how she didn't select any cats or kitties to join her in the photo. The explanation is simple: even at her young age, Claire is a great judge of character.

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Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

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