February 20, 2007

Save your life - get a dog

The evidence just keeps piling up. Once again, I've stumbled upon more proof that dogs can add years to your life. I don't make these things up, people. Basically, a dog will save your life while a cat will slowly suck the life out of you. Ever hear the story telling how a cat will sit on a baby's chest and steal the baby's breath? Well, I believe it. Cat's are pure evil. Merriam-Webster's dictionary provides the following definitions of "cat":

CAT: [noun]
1) A walking ego with fur.
2) A small furry beast resembling a meatloaf.
3) A vile, malevolent creature that leaches off the kindness of humans.
4) A four-legged baby assassin.

Enough about cats. Following is evidence linking dogs to increased lifespan, as well as a greater quality of life for babies...

This link will take you to an amazing video of a stray dog saving the life of a bull fighter (no, I did not write this incorrectly):

This link will take you to a story about how the latest stranded climbers on Mt. Hood were saved by a black lab mix (note: Stew says stranded climbers should be left on the mountain to teach them a lesson, but you can't stop a rescue dog from completing his mission):

This link will take you to a video showing a huge dog tickling a little toddler (note: I hope that doggie bed is fresh out of the washing machine... but I doubt it):

Finally, below is photographic proof of how dogs bring joy and happiness to the lives of babies.


Sammy the Cat 4:22 PM  

Dear Mr. Bogart Stewart,

I continue to be appalled at your clear lack of understanding of the feline species. We too save lives. As you will see in the following link http://www.rockmom.com/discuss/msgReader$379 these cats saved this man’s life by simply urinating on his bed. I ask you, if that is not love, what is? Would your kind have thought of such an ingenious plan? I think not. Your primitive species continues to drool and soil the yard. We cats are fully domesticated, remaining indoors and confining our mess to litter boxes, beds, pillows, laundry piles and the occasional purse. You may see the giggling child as a loving gesture of the dog, but you are wrong. I myself have been mouthed by a dog and IT IS NOT FUNNY! Neither babies or cats like having their heads chewed on.

Please cease with the discrimination or action will be taken. Continue at your own risk.

Sammy the Cat

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Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

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