March 12, 2007

Final days of the couch potato

Since he is way behind on the Chubby Challenge (see footnote), Stew has finally decided to wake up at 5:30am to work out with Momma. His sleeping in until Claire wakes up at 6:30am, followed by not exercising the rest of the day, hasn't resulted in any weightloss for Stew. So today, Linda got to use the treadmill while Stew was given use of the floorspace in front of the TV so he could follow along with his Yoga for Back Care with Rodney Yee DVD. Incidentally, Rodney Yee is a yoga expert and is not to be confused with Hadji, the street-wise Hindu boy, from Jonny Quest fame. Tomorrow, Stew will be strapping on his P.F. Flyer Action Shoes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkAMByVqRyQ) and using the treadmill while Linda does Pilates in front of the TV. However, this is all assuming Stew actually gets off the floor today. You see, he's still tied up like a pretzel downstairs, and he's calling for help and flashing messages with his P.F. Magic Ring. But, there's not much Claire or I can do since I'm no Bandit (Jonny Quest's heroic dog) and so far Claire's only good at drueling.

Speaking of Claire, she usually gets in a couple Jumperoo workouts each day. And, as you can see from the photo, she gives it her all to the point of exhaustion. Momma and Stew think Claire might be a good athlete some day, but I'm still trying to figure out where they think she's going to pick up some athletic genes. Stew was almost a star player on a mediocre basketball team in high school, which makes him a just-above-mediocre baseketball player. He was a 3rd-string wide receiver on his high school football team, and he was a high jumper in track (but never placed at a meet, and usually came in last place). Linda started playing varsity basketball while in the 8th Grade... but only because her school needed to dip down into junior high in order to field a full team (there were like 2-3 girls in Linda's entire graduating class). I won't sugarcoat it -- Linda wasn't any good at sports. However, she's gotten into running the last few years and has done real well with it. In fact, she just signed up for her first or second race since Claire's arrival -- the Get In Gear 10K Run in April (a Minneapolis race). She also signed Stew up, so he's pissed (even though he agreed to it) because he doesn't want to get beaten by a girl (Linda)... plus, P.F. Flyer Action Shoes are strictly forbidden in the race rules, and Stew's only other pair of tennis shows are the same style Adidas as those worn by Run DMC (see photo at right for those not familiar with the 2nd greatest rap group of the 1980's... next to the Beastie Boys). Stew should worry less about losing to Linda and focus more on simply staying alive for the entire race. Anyway, after Stew wins the Chubby Challenge and gets back in shape, he plans to create his own workout video because of the success the late-night infomercial videos Yoga Booty Ballet and Hip Hop Abs have seemed to garner. Stew's currently working with his production company (TwoDogs Productions) to produce a video series under the title Dunkin' Donuts Derriere... which should be completed in time for Christmas and will make a great stocking stuffer for that someone special, so order now!

Anyway, all this talk about exercise has me sweatin'. And speaking of sweatin', there's nothing Claire enjoys more after a tough workout in her Jumperoo than a nice, long bubble bath. But before running a bath for Claire, Papa Stew typically needs to change Claire's diaper. Following is a link to a video sent from my friends, Dee and Laurel... it reminds me of when Stew came home from the hospital with Claire and he had about 300 latex gloves with him that he "borrowed" from the hospital. Having never changed a baby's diaper before, Stew thought they'd come in handy... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4iE_J8sMkM

Chubby Challenge - current standings (12 weeks remaining):
Linda = 1.5 lbs weight loss to date
Stew = 2.5 lbs weight gain to date

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Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

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