Hell freezes over and Claire is not amused

You are not going to believe what I am about to write, but I assure you it is accurate and true: Stew put toddler-proof drawer locks on the nursery dresser. I repeat, Stew put toddler-proof drawer locks on the nursery dresser. Indeed, hell has frozen over. And if you're like me, you can't believe this task was actually completed before Claire is old enough to enter high school. And if you're like me, you're perpetually tan and always have a runny nose, but that's a whole other story. One problem with the locks is that they are apparently also Momma-proof, but I fear for my safety if I were to write about it further. And, the only other problem is that Claire is NOT amused by the locks. At approximately 2:25pm this afternoon, Claire let out what is now known as the scream heard 'round the house. This was the precise moment she discovered the drawers would not open more than just an inch or so. Upon hearing Claire's shriek, I immediately roused Stew from his nap on the couch so he could grab the camera and document the momentous occasion (I don't know why you can't click on this particular photo strip to enlarge it, so go get a magnifying glass to look at the individual shots):Claire eventually lost the will to go on any further and simply rolled over on the big, red rug in her room. To encourage Claire, I started toward her to nudge her back on her feet, but Stew -- most likely still angry from being awakened from his nap after a lunch of four chili dogs and a 6-pack of Budweiser -- yelled, "get back, Bogey!" because I am not to enter the sanctuary known as the nursery. So, I could only sit by and watch Claire flail away on the floor as Stew shot photos while telling her to "work it, baby... work it!" Then, he told her to "suck it up" and taunted her with a rhetorical "is this how you're going to react whenever you're faced with a challenge?" But in a total Jekyll & Hyde moment, Stew became calm, knelt down, gently lifted Claire off the floor, and started hugging and rocking her while whispering softly in her ear, "shhhhh... it's okay, Claire... it's okay."

Portions of the last paragraph are true while some are false... I'll leave it to you to believe what you wish.