December 13, 2007

'Tis the season... dress your beloved pet in ridiculous Christmas garb for the sole purpose of humiliating the one and only true friend you probably have! As you know, Stew likes to build himself up by breaking others down. So, when Stew's not depriving me of delicious morsels of succulent chicken and rice flavored dog chow that's supposedly rich in protein, he's strapping a silly hat to my head or hanging a sign around my neck so he can add his photos to MY blog. By the way, whoever invented the phrase "tastes like chicken" clearly hasn't sampled the chicken & rice flavored slop I'm forced to choke down every day (or every other day... depending on if and when Stew decides to feed me). My meals taste more like dog butt and, trust me, I would know.

Anyway, it was PICTURE DAY at The Stewart house yesterday. Even my Auntie Karen -- and her long fingernails that are perfect for scratching me behind my ears -- participated in this nonsense. Momma and Stew apparently hired her as the photographer for this year's family photo. Her payment appeared to be a grocery bag full of stuff she left here after the Chicago cookie-baking trip. If I was her, I'd have asked for a gift certificate to Williams-Sonoma or something, but Karen seemed perfectly happy with a bag full of stuff she already owns. To each his (or her) own...

Well, while I was prepared for the humiliation I was certain would be an elf suit strapped on my back or a red blinking nose clamped to my snout, Claire did not seem to understand the magnitude of the occasion. You see, last year Claire simply had to sit in Momma's lap and look extremely cute (while Momma fails to support Claire's head appropriately). I, on the other paw, was required to sit still and look happy even though I had faux reindeer antlers duct taped to my head. Even MacGyver had sense NOT to use duct tape on a dog's melon. Then again, Stew's no MacGyver, but I digress. Please allow me to get back to informing you of the wonder that was PICTURE DAY at The Stewart house...

Our little angel, Claire, was dressed in her cute little Gingerbread man sweater and new (faux) fur boots. Unfortunately, someone should have weighted the boots down because Claire was not interesting in sitting still. Instead, she preferred to run back and forth in front of the camera while the rest of us sat and looked fabulous. And by "rest of us" I, of course, mean "Momma and me." So, I blame Claire for our not being able to get an appropriate picture for this year's family Christmas photo card. And, I also blame Claire for causing today to be... PICTURE DAY - PART 2 at The Stewart house. I swear I think Stew keeps a chest full of costumes hidden in the garage, and those of you on our Christmas mailing list will soon see the results ("soon" = sometime before February 1, 2008). If you're not already on our Christmas mailing list but would like to be, simply email me your contact info... and mail me $5 so I can buy myself some Milkbones for the holidays.

I leave you with the results of just a few of the photo sessions I've endured over the years...


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About This Blog

Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

OUR FAMILY - Provides a brief bio on each family member.

THE SAHD CLUB - A rip-off of the letter written by the kids from the 1980's blockbuster hit, The Breakfast Club.

THE DOG DISH - Here you'll find the occasional rant or story written from a dog's point of view.

COMEDY - Here you'll find stuff I think is funny, typically video clips, cartoons or jokes.

LINKS - Just what the name implies.

PAW-LITICS - More rants, typically directed at despicable politicians with whom I disagree.

VIDEO VAULT - Home videos of Claire set to some of our favorite songs.

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