February 06, 2008

School Daze

Sorry about yesterday's "suggestion" of how you should vote. Ever since Claire arrived in our lives, I've gotten a little more fired up about the state of the union. Contrary to what Dubya tells us every year in his State of the Union Address, the union is NOT strong. Trust me. I watch C-Span every day, and it's enough to drive a dog crazy. Our "representatives" only care about their respective parties rather than serving us. We need to clean house on both sides of the aisle, but it's a shame we're not given much choice (see "Mitt Romney"). I'd run for office myself, but I'm not sure America's ready for a four-legged senator (a wide-stance senator is about all the nation can handle for now). Plus, I really don't want to answer tough questions about my past, even though I promise that I REALLY don't know what happened to the neighbor's cat. Honest.

Anyway, I found Stew in the bathroom this morning. I watched him shave before he jumped into the shower. The fact Stew was showering struck me as odd, and I thought to myself, "Hmm... is it Sunday already?" So, I checked the calendar and discovered we're only midway through the week. Then I remembered that Claire goes to school on Wednesday. Therefore, I ran and got my recorder, found Claire in the living room, and strapped the recorder to her back before she headed off to class. Following is a summary of today's events...

Once again, Stew and Claire were the first to arrive at class. They even sat in the car and waited five minutes before heading into the school. I'm guessing this is Stew's way of avoiding any uncomfortable chit-chat with all the moms in the class who like to flirt with him. You really can't blame the guy. He's a daddy and not a piece of meat. Anyway, despite waiting in the car, they still arrived five minutes early at 8:55AM. At about 9:10AM, after no other parents or children arrived, Stew sheepishly asked one of the teacher's aides, "Does class start at 9AM or 9:30AM?" It turns out the class starts at 9AM, and the aide complimented Stew for showing such initiative for being early. This was an obvious attempt by the aide to get a few minutes alone with Stew in the broom closet, but he didn't fall for it. Instead, he climbed into the plastic playhouse with Claire to avoid any more of her blatant sexual advances.

Once all the other kids finally arrived 15 minutes late, everyone got into a circle to sing songs. This time, when everyone sang Claire's welcome song...

HEL-lo Claire,
HEL-lo Claire,
HEL-lo Claire,
We're so glad you're here!
[everyone claps]

...Claire clapped along at the end of the song. Please note she's the only child to do so, and she even clapped for some of the other kids -- but not all of them. Apparently, she's still unsure about her feelings toward Ethan and Chase, despite the fact they are good little boys. Regardless, no clapping for them until further notice.

After a few more songs, the grown-ups formed a sitting circle in another corner of the room while the children played. Again, the parents sit in a circle and share things about their experiences at home. For example, Stew told everyone about how Claire likes to drop to the floor and roll around crying whenever you take something from her. And while this was going on, Claire decided to scale to the top of some foam steps, and she stayed atop the steps for the duration of play time. It was as if she were Queen of the Mountain surveying her kingdom. She just stood up there watching all the other kids running around screaming, throwing toys, and drueling on themselves. Oh, did I mention Claire was holding a little plastic coffee cup in her hand? She looked like Bill Lumberg, the boss from the movie Office Space... minus the suspenders. At one point, Claire pointed at 20-month old Elizabeth and said, "Um, yeah... I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday.":

Not much else happened after playtime. The kids all gathered at a table and had a snack of graham crackers. Claire didn't spill hers on the floor this week, and she even brought her own sippy cup this time. After the last cracker crumb was devoured, Claire and Stew put on their coats and got ready to leave... while all the ladies fought over who could say "Bye, Stew" in the sexiest voice. In a word, it was "awkward."

Once home, Claire went about playing with her new stuffed lioness she got from Aunt Dee (Florida) yesterday. That's right, a lioness... a member of the cat family! But, to Aunt Dee's credit, the story of Claire and her infamous stare down on the pre-schooler a couple weeks back reminded her (Aunt Dee) of a brave lioness. And I agree! In the same package from Aunt Dee was a sleeper for Claire from Grandma Stewart (Claire likes to walk around wearing her sleepers like a cape -- see photo below). Lastly, I even got a Nylabone from Aunt Dee. Unfortunately, I was half-way through devouring it last night when Stew took it away from me. Apparently, I'm only supposed to chew on the Nylabone and not eat it. So, now I know.

Here are some photos for you...


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About This Blog

Commentary from a stay-at-home dad on daily happenings and misadventures while helping raise a wonderful little girl. The goal is to employ wit, sarcasm and/or humor to make the blog pseudo-entertaining. Then again, setting goals never really worked for me, but maybe you'll chuckle anyway.

OUR FAMILY - Provides a brief bio on each family member.

THE SAHD CLUB - A rip-off of the letter written by the kids from the 1980's blockbuster hit, The Breakfast Club.

THE DOG DISH - Here you'll find the occasional rant or story written from a dog's point of view.

COMEDY - Here you'll find stuff I think is funny, typically video clips, cartoons or jokes.

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