Happy Earth Day!

In honor of today being Earth Day, the first thing I did when I woke up this morning was go outside to the backyard and fertilize the lawn. Twice. I mean, when "doody" calls, I answer. I'll probably chew sticks into mulch later today and disperse it around the yard, depending on when the rain decides to show up. It's supposed to rain all week, except for Wednesday. Of course, the sun is shining brightly as I type this post, so I guess I'll chalk this one up to yet another stellar forecast prediction by our local weatherman.

In other news, I've been absent lately due to Stew not relinquishing control of the computer. He's been obsessively searching the Internet for the cheapest and easiest path toward obtaining a real estate license. If the couple real estate agents who have shown interest in our home are any indication of the level of competence within this field, Stew's very confident he could easily reach the level of TOP REALTOR or PRESIDENT'S CIRCLE or MILLION DOLLAR CLUB simply by being his normal incompetent self. It appears a monkey could do this job, but I mean no offense to any realtors out there who might actually do a good job at serving their clients.

Take, for example, Edina Realty's Pamela Norman. She showed our house to an interested party eight days ago. After the showing, she implied to our agent that her client was planning to make an offer. Two days later, this party returned for a second showing, after which we were told (in writing) "The buyer is considering this one and one other. I should know today or tomorrow if they will choose one or keep looking." So, after receiving this information, a day passed with no word from Pamela Norman. Then two days... then three... and it's now been six days and still no word. Our agent has phoned Ms. Norman asking for feedback just to confirm what we assume to be fact - that no offer is coming - but still no word. I mean, come on! How difficult is it to dial a phone to call our agent back and say "sorry, my buyer is no longer interested"? My apologies to Ms. Norman for trashing her good name. As a member of Edina Realty's PRESIDENT'S CIRCLE, she obviously knows how to sell houses. But dialing a phone must be another matter. There's simply no excuse for leaving us hanging with no feedback.

And then there's the mystery Remax agent who scheduled a showing but never showed up with his buyer. Not a big deal, but the fact he has yet to return our agent's call asking "what's the deal?" has pushed Stew over the edge. Stew told me, "Bogey, even the worst salesperson in the world who practices good follow through is better than a top salesperson who doesn't follow up with his customers. And I'm proof of this fact. I became an award-winning seller of high quality furniture at a modest price despite the fact I can hardly sit in a chair without falling out of it. But I knew how to pick up a phone to keep my customer informed of issues affecting them." Then Stew added, "And don't forget that back in my senior year of high school, I was the state's (South Dakota's) free throw percentage leader with a 92% shots-made percentage." When I asked Stew what this has to do with selling, he replied, "Not a thing... I just like to remind people of my free throw shooting expertise as often as I can."

So, Stew is still fuming (Momma calls it, "STEWing"). And he's turned into a crazy dictator. He even has Claire putting her own books away and dusting her book shelves. He's threatened to make me vacuum the basement carpet, but I just turn and head the other way whenever I see Stew rounding a corner in my direction. This dog won't hunt, nor will I push a vacuum.