They Grow Up So Fast - Part 2

Part 2 in the I-have-no-idea-how-many-parts-this-will-go series, They Grow Up So Fast (Part 1 can be found here)...

This morning, Stew attended the second meeting of his parent advocacy group, where he actually gave a presentation. Momma volunteered to transfer his materials into a Power Point presentation, but Stew declined because he didn't "want to look like a nerd in front of all the ladies." You see, Stew is the only dad in the group (so far). And after the last meeting he was tasked with the responsibility of researching early childhood education organizations within the state, as well as national resources, and reporting his findings. Stew's parent group would like to learn about other similar groups, as well as find any organizations in Minnesota that lobby the legislature to increase early childhood education funding. You know, other socialist groups that want to indoctrinate kids with needless skills that will only ready them for kindergarten. And when I say "early childhood education", it not only includes the Early Childhood and Family Education (ECFE) program Claire and Stew attend, but it also involves all other sorts of quality early education available via some day cares and preschools (meaning the care centers that don't just set the kids in front of a TV for eight hours straight).

Anyway, I'm not sure if Stew volunteered for this task or if it was assigned to him. Either way, it can't be a good idea putting Stew in front of a computer that's connected to "the internets" (and not for the reason that's obvious to those who know Stew best... you sick puppies). Instead, I'm referring to how Stew cannot manage to go online without buying something he doesn't need. Seriously. Ask him about his strumstick or the set of bongo drums he never plays. So while I'm sure Stew's little group would find it intriguing to learn how he spent sixteen hours researching golf clubs online before he finally bought a new (used) Ping G-10 Driver via the 2nd Swing Online Golf Store, I'm sure they'd rather know about Ready 4 K, a grassroots organization in St. Paul that advocates for early childhood education AND even offers free parent advocacy training (exactly what Stew's group needs)! Then again, who wouldn't be impressed by the fact Stew was able to find some $110 Nike golf shoes on clearance for more than a 50% discount at some sort of off-shore golf outlet store? Oh, did I happen to mention the fact Stew golfs about twice per year? So I'd say that was some real quality time he spent online...

Then again, Stew's also been trying to find someone online willing to trade their lawn tractor for an unused set of bongo drums. So far, he's only found one taker off Craig's List. The picture to the right shows the actual riding mower Stew's got his eye on. Then again, he's not really interested in a self-propelled model like this. Stew says there's not much sense in buying a riding lawn mower that requires such intricate navigation. So, Stew's been back online looking for gas powered machines that only require you to turn a steering wheel every now and again (like when you're about to run over your beloved family pet, Bogart, as he naps in the front yard). So, Stew's pretty fired up about this hot-rod lawn tractor he located in the online magazine, Redneck Digest. Apparently the current owner has no use for it since he burns his yard rather than mows it. All Stew needs to figure out is how to make a barrel of moonshine for payment because the owner [quote] "Ain't got no use for your fancy Yankee dollar bills." In the meantime, Stew's been hiring the neighbor lady to mow our lawn... which usually runs us about two bottles of Charles Shaw ("Three Buck Chuck") wine, so it's quite the bargain. However, I do find it odd that she met Stew's demand that she wear a uniform consisting of a cocktail dress with heels. Weird.

Okay, so I have no pics of Claire readily available to post, but I plan to do so sometime soon. In the meantime, check out this trailer for the soon-to-be-released documentary, The Evolution of Dad. If it doesn't make you cry, then you don't have a heart. In the least, it will hopefully make you look at Stew and other stay-at-home dads differently. Particularly you ladies who, after watching this clip, might feel the urge to flash your boobs at every stay-at-home dad (and dog) you see. I encourage you to go with that urge. It's only natural. Anyway, take note of the part of the film where it shows the dad as "an outsider". It brought a tear to my eye and made me think of the mean mommies at the playground. And if you're able, give your dad a call sometime soon. I'm sure he'd appreciate hearing from you...