I need this fella to come train me on how to control Claire better. When Claire isn't attempting to crawl into the open dishwasher... or to sneak her way past the barriers in the living room to play with the window drapes that hang down to the floor behind the big leather chairs... or to carefully clean the middle shelf of the bookshelf in her nursery by removing each and every book (book by book by book) and scattering them on the floor throughout her nursery... or to crawl over the big, fluffy blue dog chair in her nursery to gain access to the power cords of her CD player/radio... Or, when Claire isn't doing any number of "fun" little things toddlers do to drive an already insane stay-at-home dog even more crazy, she's opening every cabinet door and drawer she finds in her path as she makes her rounds between her nursery and the kitchen. She's particularly fond of the cabinet in the kitchen (pictured here) that has the slide out drawers which hold the rice and lentil bean packages she likes to strategically place throughout the house. And when she's not clearing the kitchen cabinet of all pasta, rice and legume contents, Claire can be found in her nursery emptying her dresser drawers of all her clean clothes and scattering them over the sea of books she already has strewn on the floor. Yes, Stew has purchased the kid-proofing drawer thingamagigs that are supposed to keep toddlers from prying open cabinet doors and drawers. However, the thingamagigs require one to drill holes into the cabinet doors/drawers and base, and we're all a little frightened at the prospect of Stew wielding a drill. Plus, Momma doesn't want to damage the kitchen cabinets in the event we ever sell the "Love Shack" and move into a McMansion. But, since the nursery dresser is fair game (translation: hand-me-down furniture), Stew plans to one day install thingamagigs on the drawers. He'll probably get around to doing this the day after he finishes the guest room in the basement. That's right. THAT guest room. The one I told you about more than a year ago (original post). The latest deadline for completing the basement guest room that I overheard Momma giving Stew is, "before my folks arrive for Christmas." Apparently Stew thinks drinking beer in the basement while wearing a carpenter's belt around his flabby belly equates to "hard work" and "making progress". We all think Stew must have secretly taken online coursework (i.e., Ignoring Reality 101 and Critical Thinking for Dummies) from the George W. Bush School of Egocentricity. The next thing you know Momma will come home from work to find a huge MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner hanging in the basement... even though there's still a disasterous mess to deal with in the unfinished guest bedroom. Does anyone else hear a ticking sound?